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Plommer I have 4 numbers for u and none of them worked but I did have a semi casual conversation with some nice lady earlier. I even asked her if her refrigerator was running. Se fell for it. Unreal.

I had sex with a maried girl I worked with once and it was riugh sex and when done condom was cmpletely shredded.

But no, not the mudd deal.
 
RogueJuror
That mudd deal was intense, they even had to google that shit :wha:
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Judging by google, it's not a rare thing at all. One person talked about how she went to emergency to have the condom removed (rubberectomy?) and they told her she was the third person that day.

Still though, I feel pretty heroic that I was able to put on my cape and get the job done in the comfort of her own home.

:shades:
 
One of the mom's of a kid I used to coach in baseball was called "tongs" behind her back. One day I learned that she came by this nic because at a pool party once she and her husband starting fooling around and he slipped a banana inside her and only pulled a portion of the banana out.

Yep yep you guessed it. In a frantic fit he went into the host kitchen and grabbed a pair of tongs and successfully retrieved the rest of the banana.

The story goes the host didn't want the tongs back and didn't want the couple back either.
 
Bread
Plommer I have 4 numbers for u and none of them worked but I did have a semi casual conversation with some nice lady earlier. I even asked her if her refrigerator was running. Se fell for it. Unreal.

I had sex with a maried girl I worked with once and it was riugh sex and when done condom was cmpletely shredded.

But no, not the mudd deal.
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Bread, if you are serious about wanting my number Wallaaaay has my current number, he can give it to you.
 
Cougar Bait
Muddy can you professionally examine women now?
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I believe I can. That is the only proper word for the procedure I developed that day: professional. I tried different numbers of fingers and different search patterns until I arrived at an optimum technique. I was thorough and methodical - but gentle. If the situation ever arose again, I would be that much quicker and more efficient.

The answer is yes, I could professionally examine women.

Only hot ones though.


:handshake:
 
wal66
One of the mom's of a kid I used to coach in baseball was called "tongs" behind her back. One day I learned that she came by this nic because at a pool party once she and her husband starting fooling around and he slipped a banana inside her and only pulled a portion of the banana out.

Yep yep you guessed it. In a frantic fit he went into the host kitchen and grabbed a pair of tongs and successfully retrieved the rest of the banana.

The story goes the host didn't want the tongs back and didn't want the couple back either.
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Oh dear.

I wonder what the point was of sticking a banana up inside her at a party in the first place. Were they trying to impress their friends with how large and spacious she is?

:dunno:
 
Mudcat
I believe I can. That is the only proper word for the procedure I developed that day: professional. I tried different numbers of fingers and different search patterns until I arrived at an optimum technique. I was thorough and methodical - but gentle. If the situation ever arose again, I would be that much quicker and more efficient.

The answer is yes, I could professionally examine women.

Only hot ones though.


:handshake:
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:like:
 
Man I don't know. I guess I could see it if they were wearing condoms that are too large and loose. I could imagine how one of those would shake and shimmy down the pole due to the stroking motion. How could it not?

But in my case it was just the opposite. I hadn't used condoms in ages and I just bought regular Trojan condoms with no particular indication as to size - and it turned out they are EXTREMELY tight. I wouldn't have figured the thing could budge if you went at it with a jackhammer.

But suddenly - BOOM! - it was gone.

(Yes that's right in case you missed it: I am saying I need large condoms. :shades:)



But getting back to the original question and not getting too bogged down on the size of my shlong which is clearly bigger than average :)shades:), I think it just comes down to the fact that condoms suck. They are a poorly engineered product which, if used properly, are naturally going to try to work their way off. By rights, they need to be hooked up to suspenders of some kind; maybe they should have a strap that goes around the butt.

Patent pending.
 
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