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senco78
I wrap presents like a 3rd grader.
foking paper rips to easy also :selfbash:
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:lmao:

Mudcat
Haha, I was just gift-wrapping and having the same thoughts. At least anyone looking at it would have to think, well, he is obviously trying very hard at something that does not come naturally to him. Maybe that would be seen as "charming." :dunno:
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no
 
Had quite an excellent adventure yesterday. I was having intercourse of the sexual variety with my hunnybun and I finished up and pulled out and, lo and behold, the condom was gone.

Using advanced deductive reasoning there was only one conclusion: it was inside of her.

We were both all like, "Well this is a fine how-do-you-do."

So anyway, she goes off to try to get it out herself and couldn't find it. She made a few separate attempts at it actually. Just couldn't find it.

Next step of course was google. There are no shortage of entries that come up when you type in "lost condom." But there was really no magic advice. They all basically said, "Well you need to fish it out of there."

And we are like, "Ohmygawd, why didn't we think of that!"

No but seriously man, there was not much offered in the way of clever techniques - and then they all go on to say if you can't find it, go to emergency because it is not a hygienic situation and infections can occur.

Anyway, long story short, I decided that I better take a shot at it and I carefully explored around inside there. I did not find it instantly but I did find it eventually. It's difficult because the rubber feels so much like the tissue up in there but, as I say, I got it eventually which was very good because neither of us was in the mood for a trip to emergency for that.

Good thing I had my back-up speculum in my coat.

No but seriously man, condoms are enough of a drag when everything goes properly - then that. It makes me want a vasectomy.
 
Fortunately, I think there is very little chance of me getting her pregnant because I have reason to believe I am sterile. I have foggy memories going back to my boozing/drugging days of trying to donate sperm for for money and they rejected me. The details are not clear but it was definitely due to inadequate swimmers.

Probably makes sense to get checked for that before getting a vasectomy.

I had unprotected sex with Jen for years with no surprises. Of course that could have been because of her too. Don't know.



Just when you thought I was done oversharing, I overshare some more!



:wally:
 
Mudcat your recent negative condom experience is ammunition for going commando with your broad in the future.

I think she too will want to forego condom use in future fukk sessions with you pal.

If you do wear a condom and jam it way up inside her again please try to have a camera nearby and make a video of retrieval attempts, for educational purposes.

If she is squeamish remind her that no one will know who's vagina is being filmed (it's just a random cunt), do not show her face!

Thanks!
 
Mudcat
Fortunately, I think there is very little chance of me getting her pregnant because I have reason to believe I am sterile. I have foggy memories going back to my boozing/drugging days of trying to donate sperm for for money and they rejected me. The details are not clear but it was definitely due to inadequate swimmers.

Probably makes sense to get checked for that before getting a vasectomy.

I had unprotected sex with Jen for years with no surprises. Of course that could have been because of her too. Don't know.



Just when you thought I was done oversharing, I overshare some more!



:wally:
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I used to think that also
 
Plommer, you and I should go into business together! What you think bout this!

Condoms are for protection from not only pregnancy but disease too right! So what bout a specially formed condom for the tongue!

Old guys whose sticks aren't sturdy enough go down on the old lady to make her happy! Lubricate it so the stench down below is nullified! Plus young guys who don't want their mouth full of shankers win also! Also the time of the month is now eradicated from coming into play!

Put a real hurting on Viagra sales! Plommer, me and you become millionar...... billionaires! We might have to cut Muddy in also! Don't need some BS lawsuit down the road from Muddy saying well "guys, it wasn't me, honeybun made me do it."
 
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