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Is your father ashamed of you?

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Is my dad ashamed of me?

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pally
what are their lives like? elaborate please
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outside of fvkking over the world's economies, setting up hedge funds to blitz folk's portfolios, and doing high-price hookers every night?

...pretty boring: all math, programming, working dbs, or at least that's what they tell me. Apparently if you are female, you've got to be really choosy in who you sleep with to get to the top, with guys: which buddy do you fvk over to get them out of the way.
 
Mudcat
Complicated question. We don't talk about feelings and deep things, my dad and me.

There is no doubt that I had a lot of promise and potential that I did not live up to. I went to U of Toronto with a full Astrophysics scholarship - I am supposed to be a rocket scientist. He would have loved that.

But I'm not a rocket scientists. I dropped out and bounced around warehouse jobs for 20 years. Now I bet on sports.

There are my addiction issues. I would like to think he is enlightened enough to understand that was not about me being a bad person. I think he gets that (although not as clearly as my mom).

He does not lay any trips on me whatsoever. He is a good guy. I don't know what's in his head. I don't think he's ashamed. Quietly disappointed, probably. But he likes me as the person I am now.

None of the poll choices really fit but if I had to pick one, I'm glad to say that #2 is it.
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Aside from the Astrophysics thing, this is exactly my scenario. And although my father loves God more than me, I don't mind.

God is fucking spectacular and can pick winners better than Pags.
 
pally
I'm ashamed that I'm his son
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This is unclear, I don't mean I'm ashamed that I'm his son because I let him down, I mean I'm ashamed that he's my dad because I share, apparently, his genetic make-up, which is hard for me to believe.

He has the personality of an annoying, immature 8-year-old. I don't mean the ones who are adorable and you can tell they already have good character and maturity and wisdom and will be good people, I mean the ones who annoy you and you can tell will always be immature and foolish and have questionable-at-best character.
 
I've almost answered this thread like 15 times. I guess I have issues?

Heartfelt communication has never been the cornerstone of my family, so it's pretty hard to gauge the shame-levels.

When I graduated college and proceeded to play poker for years and years, my dad was a obviously a little disappointed but, to his credit, he wasn't very judgmental about it. I think he was mostly worried that it would bite HIM in the ass somehow. As the years went by and I didn't come crawling to him for money, I think he gradually shifted to a sort of bemused acceptance.

Lately, my dad will occasionally make some remarks that are actually flattering about my life/career choices. He's maddening, though. He can go from pride to a complete lack of respect in about 30 seconds. Here's a story that still drives me bonkers:

My mom and dad used to love to play cribbage. After 30-some years, my dad was finally dealt a perfect 29-point cribbage hand. He wanted to know the odds of the hand, so I worked it out for him. This was at a time that I was getting some side-work analyzing table games and writing reports for Colorado's gaming commission. The number I came up with didn't resonate with my dad, despite the fact that I tirelessly explained it to him and then found several examples online where the same number was reached. He came up with his own number based on some psychotic math that wasn't even close to a rational approach. He framed the cards along with his odds. It's still hanging in his living room and it drives me a little madder every time I see it.
 
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