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Is your father ashamed of you?

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Is my dad ashamed of me?

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Mudcat
He is a good guy. I don't know what's in his head. I don't think he's ashamed. Quietly disappointed, probably.
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This pretty much sums up my situation. Sometimes when I see him I wish we could have a big shouting match where we each give voice to the million criticisms we've bottled up over the past 15 years, but it never happens. On the few occasions I see him I just pour myself a stiff drink and speak as infrequently as possible. While the shouting match would be cathartic, it would accomplish nothing but quantifying the reasons we don't like each other very much. In this case, I guess vagueness is preferable.

Unlike Mudcat, I can't click Option 2. Bread, Plommer, I guess we're members of the fatherless brotherhood. I grew up in a two-parent household, did you guys ever wonder what it would be like to just be raised by your Mom?
 
No, I ran his company for 11 years and he is retired very nicely now. I am still working but did very well for myself too. I know he doesn't always agree with my lifestyle and the choices I make but Dad's never are completely happy.
 
rs does your dad know bout your sexuality? If yes, how's that go over? I'm sure you've addressed this along the way, so forgive me for asking again.

If I was raised by my mom, I'd be like my little brother, who was raised by my mom. A bigger mess than me. Pass.
 
Yeah Bread, my family's known for a few years now, although I didn't do a very good job of coming out since I told them I was bisexual and dated women until 2006. Now I'm having to try to explain how that was just a camouflage mechanism for me since I felt vulnerable and how as I've matured I've found I really don't have an intrinsic attraction to females. They say they understand but I can tell they still wonder if it's a "phase," and my Dad takes it a step further by thinking I chose to become "full-on gay" just to spite him. Yes, I do come by my narcissism genetically.

As far as how it goes over, I can't really say that it does. If I make a "gay" remark in their presence, they double-take or scowl at me. If I try to bring a boyfriend over it's like watching people try to look comfortable while watching someone eat a turd off the coffee table. Mostly, I just keep to myself, give nice gifts on the holidays and hope to be left alone. If I have to watch my grandparents literally weep over my sexuality at another family function, I seriously think I might become a serial killer.
 
Bread
Muddy do you envy friends who have a buddy-buddy relationship with their dads? I kinda do. Feel like I missed out.
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I'm trying to think if I know anyone like that. No one is coming to mind.

Of course I see stuff like that in movies/TV quite often. There was a time in my life that kind of thing would make me feel depressed by comparison. It doesn't bother me any more. I've been going to meetings and talking about acceptance for so long, it has actually sunk in.

I understand my dad and why he isn't a touchy-feely type. I've got what I've got and it's not so bad.
 
LOL nice. Only one word there I didn't understand. intrinsic ..I'll look it up...like the way it sounds.

As much as I dread/avoid family shit and holidays, I can only imagine things for you, and other folks of the gay community. Especially ones with "getter dun" type dads. Gotta be tense as fuck.

I like you Scholar. Always have... *Elvis look away*...always will.

Uh huh.
 
RogueScholar
Yeah Bread, my family's known for a few years now, although I didn't do a very good job of coming out since I told them I was bisexual and dated women until 2006. Now I'm having to try to explain how that was just a camouflage mechanism for me since I felt vulnerable and how as I've matured I've found I really don't have an intrinsic attraction to females. They say they understand but I can tell they still wonder if it's a "phase," and my Dad takes it a step further by thinking I chose to become "full-on gay" just to spite him. Yes, I do come by my narcissism genetically.

As far as how it goes over, I can't really say that it does. If I make a "gay" remark in their presence, they double-take or scowl at me. If I try to bring a boyfriend over it's like watching people try to look comfortable while watching someone eat a turd off the coffee table. Mostly, I just keep to myself, give nice gifts on the holidays and hope to be left alone. If I have to watch my grandparents literally weep over my sexuality at another family function, I seriously think I might become a serial killer.
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POTY
 
Mudcat
I'm trying to think if I know anyone like that. No one is coming to mind.

Of course I see stuff like that in movies/TV quite often. There was a time in my life that kind of thing would make me feel depressed by comparison. It doesn't bother me any more. I've been going to meetings and talking about acceptance for so long, it has actually sunk in.

I understand my dad and why he isn't a touchy-feely type. I've got what I've got and it's not so bad.
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Word...all about being content with what we got...and I do. Up until about 7 yrs ago I didn't even speak to my dad and didn't care. Now we speak and he bothers me.

But I do have male friends who have dads that will come out to the bar. Shoot pool. Buy a round. Talk sports, girls, life. I envy that. For sure.

I have Matt Rain. Fok.
 
see and talk to my dad everyday..he lives up the street and theres a good chance he will move in with me before he has to do any of the assisted living shit... we go to dinner, get drinks and play cards and shit together throughout the week, but he is without a doubt the most high strung person ive ever met... (he is Teddykgb kind of high strung to give you and example) so i cant honestly say that he and i would be friends if we werent related...is that bad?
 
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