Fucking really? This must have been the same night you called and left several messages which were more than likely in a different language. Something about you falling down and ripping your pants and you were sorry and got kicked out of somewhere.
Stop being a fucking pussy and enjoy this...even the bad things you seem certain are only happening to you because you are doomed. It's all part of this experience. But if you truly feel you are better off leaving this earth, by all means have at it. You pissed me off with the way you handled things with me that night and if you ever do that again, I very well might pull the trigger for you.