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so i'm officially single.

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Personally, I think that in such a relationship if one party developes feelings over and beyond then the other party has a responsibility. By not ending things, you would be encouraging the feelings. To just ignore and carry on would be a prime example of douchebaggery.
 
Badnina
Personally, I think that in such a relationship if one party developes feelings over and beyond then the other party has a responsibility. By not ending things, you would be encouraging the feelings. To just ignore and carry on would be a prime example of douchebaggery.
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I disagree totally. If both parties agree to keep a relationship purely physical, and one of them develops feelings, how is that the OTHER parties responsibility to end it? people (male or female) need to grow up and accept the responsibilities that come with a relationship. The old adage "you can't have your cake and eat it to" applies here,
 
CaliGirlNJ
nina and teela get it. thanks girls!
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Cali, I am beginning to see a gender pattern here. I have now read this whole thread, and what Nina is describing is not what happened to you. Also, by our own conversations, a few things are being omitted. Like I said, what happened to you sucks, but to paint this as cut and dry as this has become is a bit unfair. Like I said, I have read this thread now from start to finish.
 
Casperwaits
I disagree totally. If both parties agree to keep a relationship purely physical, and one of them develops feelings, how is that the OTHER parties responsibility to end it? people (male or female) need to grow up and accept the responsibilities that come with a relationship. The old adage "you can't have your cake and eat it to" applies here,
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it was a lot more than physical casper. we were exclusively dating, but not in a full fledged relationship. this weird in between that didnt make sense to anyone but us. he knew how i felt but he led me to believe more could come of it.


look people continuing to harp on it is so not helping me move on. Wally can you just save your questions for a bit and we can focus on the fun sides of being newly single, not the awful way it ended? this is making me feel like shit again and i was doing fine before all this.
 
Casperwaits
I disagree totally. If both parties agree to keep a relationship purely physical, and one of them develops feelings, how is that the OTHER parties responsibility to end it? people (male or female) need to grow up and accept the responsibilities that come with a relationship. The old adage "you can't have your cake and eat it to" applies here,
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Because you realize the other person has developed those feelings. You can't help but know. And to carry on "business as usual" when you know that he/she wants more is cruel.
 
CaliGirlNJ
it was a lot more than physical casper. we were exclusively dating, but not in a full fledged relationship. this weird in between that didnt make sense to anyone but us. he knew how i felt but he led me to believe more could come of it.


look people continuing to harp on it is so not helping me move on. Wally can you just save your questions for a bit and we can focus on the fun sides of being newly single, not the awful way it ended? this is making me feel like shit again and i was doing fine before all this.
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What you said exemplifies exactly why what Nina stated is not applicable to you.
 
Teela
Wally, I get that you're trying to understand. However, you've made it obvious that you're not fond of Cali and I think that might be influencing your opinion on the situation.
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Teela, one thing I can do is separate personal and rational. I don't care who was telling this story I would still say the burden falls on the person who develops the feelings. I have been the one who developed the feelings and while it hurt it was my fault. Even while it was still freshly hurting I knew it was my fault.

My question to you had nothing to do with it being Cali other than it was her story.
 
Badnina
Because you realize the other person has developed those feelings. You can't help but know. And to carry on "business as usual" when you know that he/she wants more is cruel.
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So let me understand. A girl decides she wants to be with me only physically. I agree to that. We spend quite a bit of time together being physical and in that time, she is exclusive with me (by her choice). She ends up meeting another guy, and her and I continue our physical relationship, but I am now aware I am not the only one in the equation. I also realize I have real feelings for her. She now has a responsibility to break up with me? Wouldn't it be ME to end this affair? Aren't I an adult that made this agreement knowing full well that this could happen?
 
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