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I had a dream with FairWarning. I was on the floor on one knee like if I had gotten beaten up, my face all bloody and I felt some missing teeth in my mouth, FW was next to me and and was trying to help me up lifting me by the arm but I was too dizzy to get up. :dunno:
 
I had Jenny over for some burgers yesterday. It was an uplifting experience for me in unexpected ways.

She had not been over for probably a couple of years (??) That was partly because we were a couple and we broke up - and then for a lot of time since we reconnected she has had such bad mobility issues that she literally could not get up here if she wanted to. My building is not disabled friendly at all. The absolute best case scenario requires getting up/down about 9 stairs. She has only started doing stairs recently.

But anyway, spur-of-the-moment yesterday, we were out-and-about and it was getting late and hungry and I had a plate of patties ready to go and bada bing, bada boom ---> we went for it and it was great.

Why was it great? Well for one thing I have very little company here and I am very insecure about it. This is the first time she has been here since my major chucking/cleaning project and she was blown away but the tidy, pleasant state of things compared to what she remembered. I had no time to prepare. It was basically a surprise inspection. Months after the project I am maintaining things in tip-top shape.

And then also, I basically never cook for anyone so I was insecure about that but it was delicious and in fact I sent her away with a care package of a couple burgers/buns/fixins which she was thrilled to have.

She normally has a very careful diet involving a lot of spinach and salad and tuna 'n shit - so some outstanding fucking BBQ burgers with lots of melty cheese are a big treat.

Possibly all sounds very trivial and even childish but I have been feeling great ever since.
 
Yeah. As I say ---> unexpected ways.

Like I expect that she is a beautiful girl and I feel good hugging and kissing a beautiful girl. I see her most days and that is always true and I expected it would be true yesterday and it was.

But I was surprised by how energizing I found the rest of the experience. Like I was seriously excited to the point where it affected my sleep.
 
Who me? Who Jenny?

I go over to her place all the time and have been for many months since we reconnected as she has gone through the hip breakdowns and then surgeries.

I was talking about the first time she came over here in a long time (couple years?) and she saw the changes I have made and we had a barbecue of totally fucking excellent burgers.
 
Well what I was trying in my muddled way to convey in and around post # 17123 was not so much a sentiment of omygawd Jenny and I are getting back together. While that would be a legitimate topic/question with several angles to explore, that was not my intended focus just then.

What I was trying to express was the odd psychology of that particular interaction which I think was more about my own insecurity than the specific company.

Ehhh I dunno. Whateva.
 
Speaking of Nessun Dorma, this here makes me cry. Of course it is partly, simply that it is a very beautiful soaring aria (despite the weirdness of what is actually going on in the opera. Whatever, it sounds good.) But you got this frumpy, crappy-job-workin', bad-teeth, nice-guy-next-door-with-a-song-in-his-heart appearing on Britains Got Talent and getting that reaction and his life changes in a moment right before your eyes. What must that have been like?

---> makes me cry.

 
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