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Take Winona Ryder away from all this . . . death!


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The one kid I work with is extremely poop conscious. All about the pooping, that kid.

I say kid. He's ~26. But he lives with his parents. And he acts like a teen.

But talk about extreme digestion issues. He uses Metamucil like a regular spice. No joke - he'll sprinkle the orange stuff on his mashed potatoes at lunch and mix it all in there. Which seems weird to me because I thought Metamucil was about promoting bowel movements, whereas a lot of his joking/discourse is about how so many things basically turn his poop to liquid. Like even just having a cigarette apparently can give him diarrhea. So why add Metamucil?

I have asked him and apparently under extreme situations - like his bowel - Metamucil actually promotes binding.

Binding.

He is constantly joking about it. But he's kind of not joking too. Like I'll come out of the men's room after some normal business and he'll be out there and he'll joke, "I heard everything." Which kinda left me shrugging the first few times - like, what are you talking about? - but he has this Beavis and Butthead laugh so I know it is a joke of some kind ---> I finally realized he is projecting. The thought of anyone hearing him in the bathroom is a big deal. He's the kind of guy who couldn't pee if there was someone on the toilet in there. Or vice versa. He really wants a loud fan to be running in there all the time to muffle any of his noises. And he kind of assumes it is a universal stress.

But I don't care. I just pee or whatever. And my poop is regular and needing no special thought or arrangements. I can have a coffee or, I dunno, a bowel of chips without having to consider the immediate implication to the other end.


My digestion ---> something to celebrate. I guess.
 
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