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joke thread

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Oh my goodness, this thread made me laugh so much!
Great stuff in here guys! :10:

What do you call a man with no arms, and no legs, lying in front of a door? MATT
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in a pile of leaves? RUSSEL
What do you call a man with arms and no legs in the ocean? BOB
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that can't hear? Doesn't matter, he would't respond to you anyway.

There is the women, lying on the beach, with no limbs, crying. A man runs by and asks her what is wrong.
Crying out loud she responds, "No man has ever hugged me", the man, feeling bad for the women, bends down and hugs her.
The next day the man is running again, and see's the limbless women still laying there crying, again, he stops, and asks what's wrong.
Crying even harder she responds "No man has ever kissed me", still feeling bad for the women, he bends down, and gives her a kiss on the lips.
The next day, yet again she is laying there crying as the man runs by, so he stops, and again asks her what is wrong this time, she responds "No man has ever fucked me", so the man picks her up, and throws into the ocean and says "THERE, NOW YOU'VE BEEN FUCKED!"
 
A man walks into a bar, and orders a shot of whiskey. The bar tenders obliges, pours him a shot, and goes back to wiping the counters.
Just as the man is about to take the shot, a little man jumps out of his pocket, knocks the full glass over, and jumps back into his pocket
The bartender turns around, and the man asks for another, the bartender picks up the spilled glass, and pours another, and goes back to cleaning the bar. As the man is ready to take the shot, the little man jumps out of his pocket, and kicks the glass over again, and jumps back into his pocket. Again, the man asks the bar tender for another shot, the bar tender replies "look man I am not going to poor any mroe shot for you to just know them right over, what is your problem?" To this he opens his pocket and shows the bar tender the little man. The bar tender looks and says "what the fuck?" The man replies "I found a magic lamp, and the genie gave me three wishes, I wished for a 10 inch dick."
 
I guess there was some thing today that YouTube was going to shut down. That had me scratching my head for a little while before my first coffee. I was not so much upset as puzzled.

But then I got clued in that it was an April Fools thing.
 
Mudcat
I guess there was some thing today that YouTube was going to shut down. That had me scratching my head for a little while before my first coffee. I was not so much upset as puzzled.

But then I got clued in that it was an April Fools thing.
Click to expand...

Come on! I thought it was pretty funny.

Time to review everything that's been posted and decide on a winner, as if Youtube was one long episode of America's Funniest Home Videos.

Fonny. :yes:
 
What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

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