joke thread

[roguejuror]

 

[vagabond]

Q: What does a lesbian bring to the second date?

A: U-Haul



Q: What does a gay guy bring to the second date?

A: What second date?

 

[Mudcat]

A man walks into a bar and hears a voice that says, "Nice shirt." A bit later he hears, "I like your haircut." He doesn't see anyone and he asks the bartender who is talking.

The bartender replies, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary."

 

[Matty]

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

 

[Matty]

What do you get a man with the heart of a lion?

A lifetime ban from the zoo.

 

[Matty]

When is a door not really a door?

When it’s really ajar.

 

[Mudcat]

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the same side.

 

[Mudcat]

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later, there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, "What the heck was that all about?"

 

[Matty]

Muddy, go to your room.

 

[Mudcat]

I bet pico would appreciate that joke.

 

[Blitty]

Is it true pico currently resides in Wuhan?

 

[roguejuror]

He was working at the wet market last I heard

 

[Matty]

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?

Everybody.

 

[Matty]

At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer.

"No. I always give 110%."

 

[Matty]

What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?

Ian.

 

[Matty]

People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But take a look at me now.

 

[roguejuror]

 

[roguejuror]

Matty you're the most reacted to member: https://www.gamelive.com/members/?key=highest_reaction_score