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i need a hug

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doublem

i know you have been going through all this shit with her, good call

things will work out for the best. it will suck and you will not have a lot of time, but ur a good man and dad.

good luck yo
 
RJ, delete that last post



watching the 4 yr old go through this is tearing me up something bad..
he hasnt seen or talked to her since Sunday, he cries every night for her
my 9yr old pretty much resents her already and has for a long time.
IDK, I'm not in a good state of mind today, its starting to set in and I have no idea what to tell the kids about this
 
mmike032
RJ, delete that last post



watching the 4 yr old go through this is tearing me up something bad..
he hasnt seen or talked to her since Sunday, he cries every night for her
my 9yr old pretty much resents her already and has for a long time.
IDK, I'm not in a good state of mind today, its starting to set in and I have no idea what to tell the kids about this
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always be honest.

it won't always make sense to them now or any immediate future.

but 3-5-10 years down the line. kids always remember honesty instictively.

it can be hard to put it into words for young ones, but try to be as direct in their age/language as you can.

you won't want to have to backtrack or cover your words 5 years down the line.

it can be seemingyly impossible for kids to swallow bad news, but they are actually very resilient and will cope one way or another. You just have to keep an alert eye and ear for ILL-copping methods over the next few years. and address them as they come.

remind them that safety and security is not an issue, AND MOST OF ALL YOUR LOVE FOR THEM ISN'T AN ISSUE... despite the tumultous-ness of life around them.

make sure the older one knows it had nothing to do with her, and she couldn't have done anything to change the situation.

let them know, that their Mommy loves them, but is just a bit sick now.... and that things could get better and nothing is permenant
 
she'll probally be served tomorrow, I signed the final paperwork for the lawyer this morning, made him take out alot of the nasty stuff in it since I'm trying not to go that route unless she chooses. then it will be brought out in court.
she's back at here now.
not home at the moment.
once she's served she will have to leave the house but she has no where to go except possibly her grannies house. feel bad about that but I offered to give her an uncontested divorce and give her money to get a place but she declined, however once I got a lawyer and filed she said she wanted me to pay for a place and give her $500 a month to live off of. not gonna happen. she declined my offer so now its in the courts hands.

I've just told her I cant be marrried to her anymore and she needs to go get well and learn to be an adult.
hopefully this will help her make better choices in the future.

state mandates both parents take a class about dealing with the children so that should help with that situation
 
% of your income.
she has no income, and I'm not going after child support
at least not now

lawyers gave me some papers for it.
they have to file them even if she isnt working, so they put her at a minimum wage rate which would make her owe me something like $324 a month
 
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