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I Actually Don't Have A BFF

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wal66

wal66

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This is not a sympathy thread where at the end I am hoping to garner everyones pity and end up with hordes of offers to be my new BFF, it's merely an observation.

I have plenty of golfing buddies. I have plenty of poker buddies. I have some really good friends but I can't honestly say that I have an actual 100% real BFF.

I don't think it bothers me but I can't be sure. It doesn't bother me because I am fairly content with my life but it would bother me if the reason I don't have one is due to my personality or some other character flaw that I don't realize I have. It wouldn't bother me if that BFF were just a one sided BFF and only wanted to be my BFF to get loans or rides or the free vacations. However it would bother me if in not having a true life BFF I am missing out on something really amazing. Not like the experience of running down to the jail and bailing them out at 4 in the morning type of experience but more along the lines of a certain unexplainable chemistry type of experience.

And like if I were to ask the question of posters experience with their BFF's I couldn't even participate in my own thread because I would have no experiences to share. This kind of makes me wish I had a BFF after all, I mean how lame is it to have a thread and not be allowed to offer your personal insight into it?

So as much as it saddens me I would much appreciate to hear your wondrous tales of experiences you and your BFF have shared. Your stories will act as my surrogate BFF.

And for the record, I kind of like this topic so it unfortunately will not be a Gamelive exclusive...............Hey, maybe that's why I'm no-ones BFF either, cause I like everyone equal.
 
I've had plenty, in the end I usually turn into a dick and just try my best to avoid them... I guess its a character flaw on my part but I get bored of people fairly easy. these days I prefer to be left alone and just do my own thing. Soft drugs , gambling, whores, and strippers are the only friends I need

any kind of occasional camaraderie I may be looking for is usually filled by make believe internet friends or annoying family members, I will happily die alone
 
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I haven't had a BFF since college. I think part of the reason is that I've been too busy with living since then to engage in the copious amounts of time it takes to become so enamored with another human being that you even have a desire to be BFFs. Another reason could be that it seems that everybody my age is getting married and having kids and generally that's when I cut people loose as friends (I can't stand kids nor all the bullshit people expects their friends to put up with from their kids). The people I was once BFFs with all live at least three time zones away now, and we'll talk on the phone maybe once a year, but when they suggest spending time together again I'm simply not interested. I'm pretty sure that qualifies as one of those personality flaws you referenced above which makes a person not BFF material.

Wal, how about you and I be non-BFFs? I promise never to bother you if you'll do the same, yet we'll have the superficial status of having a person in our lives that approximates a BFF.

:handshake:
 
Roguie, it's a deal. It doesn't require one of those special spaztastic handshakes that makes guys look like overaged isiots in public wil it? I'm not too cool for one of those handshakes just not coordinated enough to pull it off.
 
Peter, I spent some time this weekend with my friend, Jeff, that I mentioned to you earlier. Seriously, you two have so much in common. He plays the piano. We had fun with some karaoke before he passed out from all that "fruit juice" he was drinking. (I don't suppose the vodka had anything to do with it). I do think you two could be friends.
 
Nina's post brings up an interesting question.

Do straight people do a better job of hooking up their gay friends with other gay friends or do gay people do a better job of matchmaking their straight friends? Wonder which is more in tuned with the others criteria?
 
I'm not trying to hook them up though. They have too many things in common.

1. They both have been in seroius relationships with women. Jeff was married and has a 10 year old son.
2. They both love to cook.
3. They both love music.
4. they both love twinks.

And it is number 4 that keeps from trying to hook them up.
 
Nina's right, I don't think either of us is what the other is looking for in a boyfriend/lover/partner, but we'd probably become fast friends due to sharing some pretty serious common history. I think that's the next step for me before I feel interested in falling in love again, I need a really good friend so I'm not trying to force my boyfriend/lover to be my friend right from the start. I'm starting to see that forced connection as a repeating theme in my love life.

I think as a general rule, straight people (mostly women) are much more successful at hooking up their gay friends than the other way around. In my experience, gay people as a rule are much better about defining and articulating what the most important qualities are that they look far, since it's something you have to learn about yourself at a young age. That makes it easier for others to facilitate a good match.
 
My BFF dumped me six months ago because I couldn't stand her boyfriend and wouldn't keep my mouth shut. She continues to repeat the same mistakes and expects different results. It's one of my biggest pet peeves and it just got to the point that it outweighed her other awesome qualities. She dumped me, but I could have kept my mouth shut and maintained the friendship.

I've got some pretty good friends now. But BFF is maybe not a healthy thing to have? I'm hoping/thinking that friendships/relationships are like rubberbands, sometimes people are really close and sometimes not. It's not a good or bad thing. It just is.
 
wal66
Nina's post brings up an interesting question.

Do straight people do a better job of hooking up their gay friends with other gay friends or do gay people do a better job of matchmaking their straight friends? Wonder which is more in tuned with the others criteria?
Click to expand...


Setting up gay men is easy - if they both have koks they will hook up.

Vaginas aren't so simple.
 
I think one of the reasons I don't have a best friend is because I am loyal and dedicated to all my friends up to a certain point. Like lying. I can't lie for them. All my friends know that if they step out on their wives that I NEVER want to hear about it because that way I have complete deniability. I just can't lie, even if I try it's so soooooooooo bad they would immediately know. I can avoid, redirect confuse but can't lie.

I think one of the qualifiers for being or having a real BFF is the ability to be completely honest WITH them but not ABOUT them.
 
betplom
Setting up gay men is easy - if they both have koks they will hook up.

Vaginas aren't so simple.
Click to expand...

I don't know if this is completely true. I would think gay men are just as unique as straight men. I mean there are different types of gay guy. There are "ohhhhhh that's FAB-U-LOUS" types and there are "nuh uh bitch did NOT just say that" types and then there are public bathroom types. Now I can't say for sure but I would think they don't all accept one another qually.
 
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