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When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong

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I would go to work on the show and I felt awful every day, that's not the way it was. ... I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? I'm going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

Chappelle has stated that he is an avid World of Warcraft player.[31]
 
Bread
Something went dreadfully wrong in Kansas City this past weekend.

The Royals kept it real.

For my really, really white readers (Robyn), urbandictionary.com defines keep it real as:

To not be fake. Be yourself. To not inhibit yourself or pretend to be something you are not. A term used to define the "realocity" of an individual. Often used to describe how "tough" one is.

Other acceptable versions include Keep it realz, I keeps it real, and of course Oh you know I gots to keeps it real, dog! Basically, you aint no sellout. Usually Im all for such a positive message, urging one to stay true to ones self. Until it goes all wrong.

Keepin it real in MLB
jimmy_rollins_hit_by_pitch-2783.jpg

Before comedian Dave Chappelle completely lost his marbles, one of his most hilarious skits from his show was called When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong. You can see for yourself here the troubles that keeping it real can sometimes bring.

[video]http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24435&title=when-keeping-it-real-goes-wrong[/video]

So now that we all get it, lets talk about the Kansas City Royals, and their sad decision to keepz it real. Oopsie!

The Chicago White Sox were in town, and behind Jake Peavy, they were penciled in as -140 favorites to beat the hometown team. The setting: bottom of the first, no score, K.C. with a man on first and second, two outs. The always spunky Jose Guillen at the plate. Peavy lets one fly and it veers right into Guillens forearm. It didnt look like it felt too good.

At the time, I didnt think much of it. It could certainly prove to be a costly mistake as it loaded the bases, and brought up Alberto Callaspo who is a pretty solid hitter in his own right. And wouldnt you guess it, Callaspo cleared the bases with a double. 3-0 Royals.

Enter the top of the second inning. One pitch to Paul Konerko and one out. And that, my friends, is when pitcher Luke Hochevar decided, to keep it realz.

With one out, Alex Rios at the plate and the bottom of the order due up, Hochevar drilled Rios. It was blatant retaliation for what seemed to be an accidental hit batsman on his side. This is all a part of baseball. You keeps it real for your teammates. I happened to be watching the White Sox broadcast team, and even they didnt seem upset by the move. They stated that this is what you have to do to protect your own players. Apparently, the balance had been restored in MLB gangsta land. Hooray.

And then, the Royals paid what would prove to be a heavy price for their misguided meatheadidness. A stolen base and 2-out single by Alexi Ramirez later, and Rios had scored. Royals 3, Sox 1.

To most teams, this wouldnt be any bother. But when you are the KANSAS CITY FREAKIN ROYALS, sitting in last place in the A.L. Central, fourth-worst record in the majors, well you might want to think twice about conceding even one run in the name keeping it real. What a collective group of busted ass thugs.

Of course Chicago went on to win the game by one run, 5-4. That was a given. Had it gone to extra innings, who knows what mightve been. But the Royals keptz it reelz, and that seemed to be all that mattered. No recaps anywhere mentioned the fact that the winning run couldve been prevented, if not for a group of millionaires tripping over their own machismo. So your player got hit by a pitch. Get over it. You were rewarded by having that player cross the plate. Fairies.

Now Im not telling you that you shouldnt always stick up for your friends and colleagues, because you should. If you ever have a close co-worker get fired from your job, march right up to your boss and open-hand bitchslap him right in the face. Then demand a raise. Because keeping it real is not only the honorable thing to do, but it always works in your favor. Just ask the 15-24 Kansas City.

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Post paid for by Gamelive.com
 
FYI...


GET YOUR RAT OUT

A phrase that is believed to have first been used in the town of Blackwood, South Wales by boy racers cruising up and down the high street to get the attention of good looking female members of the population.

"Get Your Rat Out" literally means expose your Vagina or Vulva. In the late 1990's it became apparent that "Excuse me Madame, but would you mind showing me your vaginal opening, only I'm rather fond of you and all that" was no longer acceptable, hence a much shorter phrase was required. Recently, since 2004 "Get Your Rat Out" has been shortened to just "Rat Out".

Academics have theorised that within the next 5 years this will be shortened to just "Rat", as motor vehicles become faster thus making it more difficult for one to shout “Rat Out” whilst passing some rather delicious ladies.


"Oi Love! Get Your Rat Out!"
 
MrMonkey
I feel for you SJ! Bread is a paid pro and you get banned for giving away winners for free! Life is not fair! :sad:

One day maybe 50 years after your passing people will look back on your work and say "genius".
:bdown:
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Mr. Monkey, 50 years after my passing if they don't believe my writing was genius, all they'll have to do is peruse the archives of forumville and they will clearly see me stating it for all the world to see. In the pantheon of unrecognized genius, I shall sit at the head of the heavenly literary table while the unheralded Danny Bonaduce regales us with song and the erstwhile, albeit overlooked, Yasmine Bleeth proves she is the consummate thespian in or out of her one piece Baywatch swimsuit.
 
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