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Stevek173 Break up, the entire story, broken down for those who are interested.

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Matt Rain
Yah.

Now, comparing yourself to your social circle could well be a good source of motivation, but in trying to take too many shortcuts to get "caught up" (in your head), you run the risk of driving yourself mad and even unhappier than you are right now. Making six figures isn't going to change your life Stevie boy - you'll just scale up your expenses along the way and you'll be in the same mindset you are right now, i.e. an unsatisfied one. Making an arbitrarily high amount of money isn't going to change other people's perception of you either, especially if you had to completely ignore them in order to reach that self-imposed status. And whomever shares your life at that point will experience the same thing Nikki did - an unavailable guy who's chasing a dream that's not really his.

Watch or rewatch American Beauty. Don't get shot in the back of the head by the closet homo next door. Or something.
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Change guy to girl and that's the story of my life right there.

But I am still of the opinion that there is something terribly wrong with the fact that her parents flipped out because he wasn't ready to leave when they arbitrarily changed the arranged time, and they're now blanking him while Nikki doesn't put an end to their childish behavior. It doesn't matter what any of their excuses could be - he was a member of the family for what? 10 years? And you treat someone like that because he wasn't ready when you decided you'd rather leave now? It's not like he was sitting in a bar. Actually, even if he was, big deal. He wasn't late.

I guess the thing I'm hung up on is her lack of standing up to her parents and from what he said, this seems to be a recurring theme. This is supposed to be your life partner - he comes first. And if he doesn't in your mind because you'll always defer to your parents, then what kind of relationship will that be regardless of whatever other issues your facing?
 
I lost part of my post somehow but wanted to add: Steve, it's too easy to fall in the trap of comparing yourself to your family and friends, especially if you were the one considered most likely to 'succeed' (in the traditional sense of the word) while growing up. And that trap is a slippery slope. You'll never feel like you've achieved enough unless you change your mindset now about what success really means to you. At the end of the day, you're the only one living your life so screw all that other stuff. Do what you want to do - not what you think you have to.
 
Shari91
I lost part of my post somehow but wanted to add: Steve, it's too easy to fall in the trap of comparing yourself to your family and friends, especially if you were the one considered most likely to 'succeed' (in the traditional sense of the word) while growing up. And that trap is a slippery slope. You'll never feel like you've achieved enough unless you change your mindset now about what success really means to you. At the end of the day, you're the only one living your life so screw all that other stuff. Do what you want to do - not what you think you have to.
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:cheers:
 
Robyn
How many more credits do you need for your degree? Can you take some classes online? Moving out on your own without a roommate is probably not the best decision.

Is there any reason you NEED to have a degree? There are plenty of people with well paying jobs who do not have a degree.
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I go to classes online with a local community school. Exact credits I'm not sure for the Associates, I know I get the Web Design Certification (which means nothing probably) after this semester and then I move on to an Associates. Again after I get the Associates the 65k NYC job is not promised to me but has been kicked around with a guy who does the hiring there and and whom I have been good friends with for about 20 years. Albeit 65k is not much in NYC I know, I would commute etc.

I agree on the well paying jobs without a degree, not here in the sticks where I relocated to live with her though. there is nothing out here.

I am going to go to bat here for my current job though - it could very well be the well paying non degree job we speak of if it keeps going like it is.
 
Shari91
I lost part of my post somehow but wanted to add: Steve, it's too easy to fall in the trap of comparing yourself to your family and friends, especially if you were the one considered most likely to 'succeed' (in the traditional sense of the word) while growing up. And that trap is a slippery slope. You'll never feel like you've achieved enough unless you change your mindset now about what success really means to you. At the end of the day, you're the only one living your life so screw all that other stuff. Do what you want to do - not what you think you have to.
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This is gospel brother and I will answer it with this - I'll focus on getting afloat quickly and then see how I feel about it; a lot of my maddening efforts towards work are to try to get caught up; they were for US to try to get caught up, now I guess they will be for me to get caught up. I do agree that balance in life is very important but you must find your feet first, right?
 
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Shari91
Change guy to girl and that's the story of my life right there.

But I am still of the opinion that there is something terribly wrong with the fact that her parents flipped out because he wasn't ready to leave when they arbitrarily changed the arranged time, and they're now blanking him while Nikki doesn't put an end to their childish behavior. It doesn't matter what any of their excuses could be - he was a member of the family for what? 10 years? And you treat someone like that because he wasn't ready when you decided you'd rather leave now? It's not like he was sitting in a bar. Actually, even if he was, big deal. He wasn't late.

I guess the thing I'm hung up on is her lack of standing up to her parents and from what he said, this seems to be a recurring theme. This is supposed to be your life partner - he comes first. And if he doesn't in your mind because you'll always defer to your parents, then what kind of relationship will that be regardless of whatever other issues your facing?
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All very valid points, and there are other examples I can't go into right now, but the cycle remains the same - someone's point of view she blindly respects more than mine does something crazy, I say something, and I am wrong (according to her) every time...and that won't work.

I will say the break up story is classic - 8 years, and the final straw is THAT? I mean what do you say. Change of scenery is all.
 
stevek173
I will say the break up story is classic - 8 years, and the final straw is THAT? I mean what do you say. Change of scenery is all.
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There's no reason to focus so much on the final straw event. It's no more important than any other, it's just sticking in your mind because it's the last one. There's always going to be a last one.
 
Cougar Bait
Shari is one damn good poster.

I don't have anything intelligent to add.

Imagine that.
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A lot of unreal posting here but year Shari among others is doing quite the job soul-reading.

All I can say is I am very appreciative of it all form all of you, I am going through an extremely difficult time and the help clarifying things really is priceless.

You really should be proud of yourselves, I can't think of anywhere else that would offer this kind of help.

The Bread/Shari/Stevek173 sponsored by Stevek173 will surely be mayhem, the more the merrier.
 
Mr X you and I are above all this drama pal

Mr X there is no room for drama when one is knee deep in baseball models and in my case, conspiracy theory contrarian plays.

Mr X what are your thoughts on my 2 baseball plays for today?

They're in the thread titled, 2 rare World Cup BASEBALL plays (or something to that effect)

Mr X
 
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