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Stevek173 Break up, the entire story, broken down for those who are interested.

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Can't believe most of the replies so far.

I'm not saying you're in the wrong Stevie boy, nor that your girl or her family were wrong. It's not about blaming anyone here, it's about figuring out what you're really doing. To me it looks like you're obsessed with getting out of the jam you think you're in, which I think has more to do with self-fabricated social pressures. It also looks like your girl's family is tired of seeing you waste so much energy on a pipe dream (i.e. your job's income potential, which is the proverbial carrot on a stick that you're never gonna reach) when you could simply get a menial hourly job while you work on your degree, which would probably leave you some time for, well, actual human relationships.

Stevie boy you call this a breakup story but 80% of it is work-related. Memories of your girl are tied to work-related events. That is not normal. I'm not judging you here - I can relate to your story 'cause I went through something very similar a bunch of years ago.

But you're not getting any sympathies from this guy. I feel like kicking you in the ass for your own sake.

A job is just a job, Stevie boy - it shouldn't impede on life more than it has to and it shouldn't be a refuge from actual life.

Just sayin'.
 
Teela
:duh:

It amazes me that she stuck by you through everything, yet that was the "final" straw. There's more going on with her.
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Glad you said what I was thinking!

mrrogers_image.gif


Kids, can you say More Enjoyable Penis!
 
Matt Rain
Can't believe most of the replies so far.

I'm not saying you're in the wrong Stevie boy, nor that your girl or her family were wrong. It's not about blaming anyone here, it's about figuring out what you're really doing. To me it looks like you're obsessed with getting out of the jam you think you're in, which I think has more to do with self-fabricated social pressures. It also looks like your girl's family is tired of seeing you waste so much energy on a pipe dream (i.e. your job's income potential, which is the proverbial carrot on a stick that you're never gonna reach) when you could simply get a menial hourly job while you work on your degree, which would probably leave you some time for, well, actual human relationships.

Stevie boy you call this a breakup story but 80% of it is work-related. Memories of your girl are tied to work-related events. That is not normal. I'm not judging you here - I can relate to your story 'cause I went through something very similar a bunch of years ago.

But you're not getting any sympathies from this guy. I feel like kicking you in the ass for your own sake.

A job is just a job, Stevie boy - it shouldn't impede on life more than it has to and it shouldn't be a refuge from actual life.

Just sayin'.
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And I agree with a lot of what you are saying Matty though I want to clarify one thing - I DO NOT do the "closing thing" anymore i.e. the driving to every part of the state every day (you 1st mentioned it that's why I bring it up)

I do the mortgage processing and now also LO thing, and I work from home. They do not demand I put in the work I do, that is all me trying to get the money coming into the company not only to benefit myself but them as well for giving a guy who didn't have the $ to get his car out of an impound lot a shot in the dark.

I also think you brought up and extremely insightful point in the social pressures and they do exist.

My family:

Brother: Project Manager, six figures

Mom and Dad - Worked for Fed Govt over 40 years each, over six figures both before retirement.

Best friends growing up: 2 Lawyers, 1 Teacher for a major University, 1 Project Manager all over 6 figures except for the teacher and obviously that's a great job.

It does eat away at me to no end and it does make me eccentric in wanting to get "caught up". I was always viewed as the smartest if not one of the smartest of the lot, and here I am unable to pay my fucking bills AGAIN and in the position I am in.

Personally I would think this would be respected and admired by people who don't work (not insulting them, they bust their butts when they have to), and I think that basically that I am dependent at this point (regardless of how I got there) on them it is a conflict that is not resolveable like you said - no one is wrong, but that's not what is important. Recipe for a parting of ways is all.
 
Matt Rain
Can't believe most of the replies so far.

I'm not saying you're in the wrong Stevie boy, nor that your girl or her family were wrong. It's not about blaming anyone here, it's about figuring out what you're really doing. To me it looks like you're obsessed with getting out of the jam you think you're in, which I think has more to do with self-fabricated social pressures. It also looks like your girl's family is tired of seeing you waste so much energy on a pipe dream (i.e. your job's income potential, which is the proverbial carrot on a stick that you're never gonna reach) when you could simply get a menial hourly job while you work on your degree, which would probably leave you some time for, well, actual human relationships.

Stevie boy you call this a breakup story but 80% of it is work-related. Memories of your girl are tied to work-related events. That is not normal. I'm not judging you here - I can relate to your story 'cause I went through something very similar a bunch of years ago.

But you're not getting any sympathies from this guy. I feel like kicking you in the ass for your own sake.

A job is just a job, Stevie boy - it shouldn't impede on life more than it has to and it shouldn't be a refuge from actual life.

Just sayin'.
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This is very similar to what I was going to say.

Steve, this job of yours is a job, not a career. In the current market, your job is better suited for a 22 year old aggressive college graduate who wants experience (and then move on), not someone who should be more interested in building a life with his fiance than crushing a loan. Are your parents still around? If so, move back home, enroll in college full-time, stop gambling and get your shit together. The entire two years you have been living with her parents, you should have been taking advantage of the situation by enrolling in school full-time and perhaps working a part-time job to get by.

I'm sorry but I really don't blame her for being frustrated with you. I am sure she wants nothing more than to move out of her parents house and get on with her life. But it doesn't seem that the two of you are on the same page. You seem very focused on the present and she on the future. It's probably time for both of you to move on. I forget...how old are both of you?
 
Robyn
MrMonkey, I just made lunch. Grilled cheese on tortillas. Ever try that?
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Never was into grilled cheese until MrsMonkey made them for me with tomatoes in them. Tortillas sounds cool!

Within the last 6 months I have turned into my avatar. Very depressing that I love to eat and my metabolism seems to have slowed down. I have to lose weight! Very depressing, but I'm still happy!
 
stevek173
And I agree with a lot of what you are saying Matty though I want to clarify one thing - I DO NOT do the "closing thing" anymore i.e. the driving to every part of the state every day (you 1st mentioned it that's why I bring it up)

I do the mortgage processing and now also LO thing, and I work from home. They do not demand I put in the work I do, that is all me trying to get the money coming into the company not only to benefit myself but them as well for giving a guy who didn't have the $ to get his car out of an impound lot a shot in the dark.

I also think you brought up and extremely insightful point in the social pressures and they do exist.

My family:

Brother: Project Manager, six figures

Mom and Dad - Worked for Fed Govt over 40 years each, over six figures both before retirement.

Best friends growing up: 2 Lawyers, 1 Teacher for a major University, 1 Project Manager all over 6 figures except for the teacher and obviously that's a great job.

It does eat away at me to no end and it does make me eccentric in wanting to get "caught up". I was always viewed as the smartest if not one of the smartest of the lot, and here I am unable to pay my fucking bills AGAIN and in the position I am in.

Personally I would think this would be respected and admired by people who don't work (not insulting them, they bust their butts when they have to), and I think that basically that I am dependent at this point (regardless of how I got there) on them it is a conflict that is not resolveable like you said - no one is wrong, but that's not what is important. Recipe for a parting of ways is all.
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Yah.

Now, comparing yourself to your social circle could well be a good source of motivation, but in trying to take too many shortcuts to get "caught up" (in your head), you run the risk of driving yourself mad and even unhappier than you are right now. Making six figures isn't going to change your life Stevie boy - you'll just scale up your expenses along the way and you'll be in the same mindset you are right now, i.e. an unsatisfied one. Making an arbitrarily high amount of money isn't going to change other people's perception of you either, especially if you had to completely ignore them in order to reach that self-imposed status. And whomever shares your life at that point will experience the same thing Nikki did - an unavailable guy who's chasing a dream that's not really his.

Watch or rewatch American Beauty. Don't get shot in the back of the head by the closet homo next door. Or something.
 
Robyn
This is very similar to what I was going to say.

Steve, this job of yours is a job, not a career. In the current market, your job is better suited for a 22 year old aggressive college graduate who wants experience (and then move on), not someone who should be more interested in building a life with his fiance than crushing a loan. Are your parents still around? If so, move back home, enroll in college full-time, stop gambling and get your shit together. The entire two years you have been living with her parents, you should have been taking advantage of the situation by enrolling in school full-time and perhaps working a part-time job to get by.

I'm sorry but I really don't blame her for being frustrated with you. I am sure she wants nothing more than to move out of her parents house and get on with her life. But it doesn't seem that the two of you are on the same page. You seem very focused on the present and she on the future. It's probably time for both of you to move on. I forget...how old are both of you?
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34, and she is 31. I know I know, we aren't getting any younger.

And for the record I was doing school full time up until the Summer, then put it on Part Time because of the job and financial aid funkiness about they way they approach summer classes, and again Nikki gets credit for showing me how easy that was to get back into I never would have done this without her.

It's just crazy - her extended family is just huge and I am calling for rentals now and know that some of the people I am calling know her or her family; cat's about to come out of the bag in a major way I guess.

Oh and my parents recently moved to a retirement community in Delaware, not that I would ever approach them to live with them. Honestly, I would rather be homeless and die than do that.
 
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Matt Rain
Yah.

Now, comparing yourself to your social circle could well be a good source of motivation, but in trying to take too many shortcuts to get "caught up" (in your head), you run the risk of driving yourself mad and even unhappier than you are right now. Making six figures isn't going to change your life Stevie boy - you'll just scale up your expenses along the way and you'll be in the same mindset you are right now, i.e. an unsatisfied one. Making an arbitrarily high amount of money isn't going to change other people's perception of you either, especially if you had to completely ignore them in order to reach that self-imposed status. And whomever shares your life at that point will experience the same thing Nikki did - an unavailable guy who's chasing a dream that's not really his.

Watch or rewatch American Beauty. Don't get shot in the back of the head by the closet homo next door. Or something.
Click to expand...

Agree with a lot of you said, though it is never too late to get it back (lol).

I will be 110% extra careful not to smoke government issued weed with anyone's children though, that should help me avoid the shot in the head scenario.
 
durito
Like a quesadilla or we talking something else? I love me some grilled cheese.
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Yes, a little bit...but just with cheese. And the tortilla is kind of crispy on the outside.

MrMonkey
Never was into grilled cheese until MrsMonkey made them for me with tomatoes in them. Tortillas sounds cool!

Within the last 6 months I have turned into my avatar. Very depressing that I love to eat and my metabolism seems to have slowed down. I have to lose weight! Very depressing, but I'm still happy!
Click to expand...

MrMonkey, why do you wear maternity shirts?
 
stevek173
34, and she is 31. I know I know, we aren't getting any younger.

And for the record I was doing school full time up until the Summer, then put it on Part Time because of the job and financial aid funkiness about they way they approach summer classes, and again Nikki gets credit for showing me how easy that was to get back into I never would have done this without her.

It's just crazy - her extended family is just huge and I am calling for rentals now and know that some of the people I am calling know her or her family; cat's about to come out of the bag in a major way I guess.
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How many more credits do you need for your degree? Can you take some classes online? Moving out on your own without a roommate is probably not the best decision.

Is there any reason you NEED to have a degree? There are plenty of people with well paying jobs who do not have a degree.
 
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