Random thoughts

[Cami]

How old is this Johnder? I like Johnder, that's fun! Those parents, pfft....a real stick in the mud it sounds like.

 

[Matty]

He's like 15.

 

[Cami]

Oh, I was going to say I'd give some leeway if Johnder was a baybay. How does Johnder feel about these names?

I saw on FB last night, that Acid Joe is celebrating his two year anniversary with Elaine.

 

[bacon]

Whom he won at a poker tournament in Coasta Rica

 

[Matty]

About every other elevator ride in my building, I'm the only non-Asian in there.

 

[bacon]

do you feel like you don't belong?

 

[Matty]

No. I'm a foreigner too.

I just feel like that's a lot of Asians.

 

[bacon]

Well when you've got psycho neighbor character assassinating you it's a fucked up situation - everyone knows all asians in a close proximity will think the exact same thoughts so if one of them decides you're stupid and ugly they all will and eventually those silent looks will turn into heckling behind your back. I'd start taking the stairs.

 

[Cami]

Does your building smell like Asian food?

Sup with the crazy chick next door?

 

[Matty]

I have this friendly Chinese neighbour across the hall, tall guy, he's like 6'2". He can't speak English worth a shit, it makes small talk very easy. I enjoy that in an Asian person. I suck at small talk.

Me - Hey man, how are you?
Him - Good. Kid good?
Me - Yeah man, baby's great. Very happy baby.
Him - Ha! Happy baby, good!
Me - You have kids too, right?
Him - Yeah! Two! *outward hand motion* College.
Me - Nice - science?
Him - Yeah! Doctors.
Me - Medical doctors?
Him - Yeah! Doctors.
Me - Okay, have a good day man.
Him - *nods* Good day.

 

[Matty]

Crazy chick next door is probably on vacation somewhere, we haven't heard her in a while.

That or the smell of her dead decomposing body is about to hit the ventilation system.

 

[bacon]

Some of those guys can bring it on the volleyball court. Very structured foundation on the passes, usually don't hit that great more of a technique game. They train themselves by practicing on courts made of rice so the beach is easy for them to play on. I hope crazy chick is yelling at the Taliban and awaiting a reaction.

 

[Matty]

Does your building smell like Asian food?

Now that's just fucking racist. Asian people eat white food too.

 

[Cami]

That's some good small talk right there.

 

[Cami]

Now that's just fucking racist. Asian people eat white food too.

 

[Mudcat]

My brother had a friend named Tarune in high school. We called him Joe. Sometimes people wouldn't even realize Joe wasn't his real name and they would phone him and ask for Joe.

His mother would say there was no Joe there and hang up. She knew what was going on but she chose to be a bitch about it.

Mind you, it was kind of lame of us to change his name. It's not like he was Rahvindrapetl or some damn thing.

Tarune. tuh-ROON. Really no more difficult than, say, Stephen.

 

[Cami]

Muddy, you bunch of yahoos!

 

[Mudcat]

My most distinct memory of Tarune "Joe" Dhillon (?)

One time my high school had one of those mentalist guys come do a show. I even remember his name, not that it matters. Mike Mandel. You have probably seen the sort of thing. He hypnotizes people and makes them think they are chickens or Tarzan or whatever. People act goofy and a knee-slapping time is had by all.

So anyway, they start with a big group of people and the guy kind of tests them to see if they are hypnotizable and weeds people out and gets it down to a smaller group. Joe was part of the final group.

Long story short, at one point, the mentalist tells the people they are suddenly naked. They all go scrambling to hide behind anything they can find. Meanwhile Joe Dillon comes proudly marching up to the front of the stage with his arms in the air.

He wasn't really hypnotized. Faking the whole time.

Oh that guy.