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Pinkman update

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For you boys who like to play with dolls.....

Bacon Pinkman...shipped Saturday
RJ Pinkman..shipping today

Matty Pinkman....you might have by Christmas. Too bad too, cuz I think you are the only one who truly wanted one. I may be able to get to the post office today, but my free time was reduced from 12 hours a week to about 6 until we can get more home help in place.
 
Cami
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. How is she doing? I take it you are not sending her to a home just yet? Hang in there!
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Well, all things considered she is doing ok. The better homes in town have wait lists 15 deep. Who knew? There is one place 2 blocks from the house that I think makes sense, but my siblings are resistant to that idea for some reason. I think it would be great to have her that close but I think they may think it would hinder my ability to separate from the caregiver role. OR, they really just don't like it cuz it is an older facility. I don't care how it looks as long as the care is good. I have no idea what the forward plan is (lots of family disagreement there) and that is what makes it difficult. I'm trying to rearrange home care hours but that shit is expensive (35/hour) for mediocre care. I feel like I am doing all the work when they come here. Thanks for your good wishes. Hope all is well in Camicon world!
 
Sounds like your siblings just don't want to put her in a home period. IMO, I would search for a better home care nurse. At least then you have a second person around to help with her. Would her insurance cover any of the expense? Aside from her physical state, how's her mental state? This just breaks my heart for you, I can only imagine how hard it is on you the worse she gets...
 
Cami
Sounds like your siblings just don't want to put her in a home period. IMO, I would search for a better home care nurse. At least then you have a second person around to help with her. Would her insurance cover any of the expense? Aside from her physical state, how's her mental state? This just breaks my heart for you, I can only imagine how hard it is on you the worse she gets...
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Actually it's just the opposite. They WANT her in a home and I initially resisted. I am unclear what direction we are headed so I'm just going day by day. Right now I have a gal coming in the a.m. to get her up and dressed/breakfast and one to get her to bed but it doesn't usually take more than 15 min and they have one hour $35 minimum each visit. I know some people who might want to some part time work, but I don't want to engage them if I think my family is just going to pluck her in nursing home as soon as one of the two good ones has an opening. Insurance pays nothing toward anything...all private pay whether in the home or in the nursing home. Nursing homes are $250 day and between my compensation and all the additional help we would probably surpass that. I could do it all myself (and just need some breaks for my own mental health) if it weren't for my stupid shoulder. Ideally we would have someone just come in for 20 min a couple times a day and pay them $12-$15 cash per visit but not that easy. I just know there has to be a better way to break down that additional $70 day to get us more bang for the buck. Nursing homes and adult day care only pay their people around $10 per hour, so could be ideal situation for the right person...but they have to be able to do more than just babysit her and be available several times a day 7 days a week or close.

Her mental state is about the same. Confused as ever but sweet disposition and never complains..just goes with the flow.

And that's just the thing.as you said.it WILL get worse. We pray as she does that she just quietly painlessly passes in the night before it gets to that stage.

Could be much worse. I have support of family and mom has resources. So many people have neither, and I see their desperation on an Alz forum at which I post. Makes me also think I should get going with buying a long term care policy for myself. Nursing care is ridiculous and Medicare pays for nothing except the medications. If you go to nursing care and have no money, you have to spend down your assets til you qualify for Medicaid and then share some shitty semi-private room in a lower level place. If I have to go to the warehouse, I want to make sure I have my own room at least. Depressing to think about.


You Canadians may have said before, but what happens to your elderly who need skilled nursing (nursing home?) Does that fall under covered health care or is that all private pay also?
 
IAG
You Canadians may have said before, but what happens to your elderly who need skilled nursing (nursing home?) Does that fall under covered health care or is that all private pay also?
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it's partly subsidized

vast range of quality

grandma rain is paying $1500 for high-end accomodations

she may not be able to stay there for long though, as she's becoming a heavier case (depression w/ mild dementia)
 
Matty
it's partly subsidized

vast range of quality

grandma rain is paying $1500 for high-end accomodations

she may not be able to stay there for long though, as she's becoming a heavier case (depression w/ mild dementia)
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$1500 a month?? Wow. It sounds like she is probably in an independent/senior living or assisted living as opposed to what they label "skilled nursing" which is essentially a true nursing home. Still that's cheap. I think mom's memory unit care was about $45-50k a year...and that is in SD where things are less expensive.

I would be surprised if there are nursing homes in the US that are less than $80k a year... Most people will blow thru their savings very quickly and then have to deal with Medicaid and live off an extra $50/month that they let you keep for your own personal stuff...books, candy etc.

I think most people think that Medicare pays for care when they are older. I know most of my friends do. I try to communicate how expensive it is, but doesn't really matter as most of my friends don't have that much disposable income to save for that anyway. Their short term concern is putting kids thru college...another ridiculous sum here for mediocre schools even.
 
I think "skilled nursing", which sounds like where my grandma is headed, will be around the same price, if not cheaper. Shittier environment though.

My grandma's not rich but she's still in the money @ $1500 - I think she nets $1700 in total retirement income.

That's what paying 40-50% income tax during your working prime gets ya.
 
Anyway this shit is depressing and I've learned way more than I ever hoped to have to about Medicare, various senior options, and incontinence products.

Let's focus on Casper. It's just slightly less depressing.
 
I am glad you have the support of your brothers. Have they been coming in more often? I think at this rate, it's important to get all the help you can with her. and yes, you do need little weekly breaks for your own well being. I assume she has enough saved to cover the cost of a home? So shitty how little is covered for the elder.
 
Matty
I think "skilled nursing", which sounds like where my grandma is headed, will be around the same price, if not cheaper. Shittier environment though.
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At least in the U.S. skilled nursing (nursing home) presents as an overall shitty environment with shitty little rooms and shitty food. A fancy memory or assisted care facility with beautiful big rooms and nice common areas are about half the price. The nursing homes are 2x the cost of the nice places because you are paying not for the room/atmosphere, but for having qualified staff with a much higher nurse to patient ratio. I think you might be surprised at the cost. You would think it would be cheaper but it's not. That was the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around.


p.s I am aware that I ended that last sentence with a preposition.
 
I was just thinking about you and your situation and wondering how it was going. Alzheimer's and nursing homes are both really glum topics which people never seem to think will be part of their lives. After watching my mother take care of my grandmother (which was actually her foster mother) and finally decide to put her in a skilled nursing facility, I really have a lot of respect for those in the caregiving role. I really hope that you and your family are able to find the best situation for all of you (although none of them are ideal).
 
Cami
I am glad you have the support of your brothers. Have they been coming in more often? I think at this rate, it's important to get all the help you can with her. and yes, you do need little weekly breaks for your own well being. I assume she has enough saved to cover the cost of a home? So shitty how little is covered for the elder.
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No..in fact they have been coming less often which is a bit of a sore spot with me, but they come far more often than most and did extend their stays here this past week. If I needed them they would be here. Yes, my dad had planned well so she's fine there, but still ridiculous to pay so much for so little. The whole end of life set up in the U.S. is horrible.

What's weird is if she would have been admitted to hospital for 3 days then went to a nursing home then Medicare pays for stay and for 90 days of nursing home time. Some people try to just keep getting admitted to the hospital and cycling thru the home as a means to pay, but the hospitals are being monitored more closely as Medicare had funds pulled to pay for Obamacare and don't push that route as often as they used to.
 
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