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joke thread

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There's an old Jewish man walking on the beach and he comes across a magic lantern. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie says to the old Jewish man, "I will grant you anything you want." The old Jewish man pulls out a map of the Middle East and shows it to the genie and says, "I would like peace in the Middle East between Israelis and the Palestinians." The genie looks at the map and says, "I cannot do that. Anything else?" And so the Jewish man says, "I would like my wife to blow me one more time." The genie says, "Let me see that map again."
 
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Mahatma Gandhi tended to walk everywhere he went, which over time built up immense slabs of rough skin on his feet. He also frequently took part in hunger strikes and, when he did eat, often had little except rice which not only made his health delicate but also gave him a severe case of bad breath. When he finally passed away, the coroner was asked about the cause of death. He replied, "Worse case of Mary Poppins' disease I've ever seen." When asked to clarify, he said,



(wait for it)




"You know...he was a super callused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis."
 
Why did the blonde use the following for her computer password: "Mickey Minnie Pluto Huey Louie Dewey Donald Goofy Sacramento"?



The login instructions read: "It must be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."
 
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