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Goddam family is annoying

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Yeah my Dad just called to change the Father's Day picnic to the day before. We haven't had a Father's Day picnic in like 10 years. They must be feeling their lives slip away from them and are trying to rekindle a moment or two from the past. It's over, I am busy trying to keep it real by beating women, drinking, and gambling every night of the week.

Bread, are you gonna put on a tie again? That shit was cute.
 
CB I like the way you broke it down there.


I just became annoyed with my nana. I never become annoyed with her. She called me, asked me to drive her to jail to get my uncle out, who got pulled over speeding. Trouble with that is....he has a 30 year old warrant from where he shot someone in the arm and skipped out of the country. He was back visiting. And speeding. Idiot.

I said ok...even though I know he's not getting out, but he told her on the phone that $700 would get him out. I hardly believe that's the case, considering he is a flight risk and in on an aggravated assault or something like that.

Then I remember that I had been drinking since I got home, and PROBABLY shouldn't drive to a jail buzzed. So I called back and told her that and she gave me a guilt trip.

Unreal. Did I shoot someone? Did I drive around with a warrant? Do I have to constantly save every idiot member of my family? Seems like it.

Welcome to my white trash paradise y'all.
 
Bread
CB I like the way you broke it down there.


I just became annoyed with my nana. I never become annoyed with her. She called me, asked me to drive her to jail to get my uncle out, who got pulled over speeding. Trouble with that is....he has a 30 year old warrant from where he shot someone in the arm and skipped out of the country. He was back visiting. And speeding. Idiot.

I said ok...even though I know he's not getting out, but he told her on the phone that $700 would get him out. I hardly believe that's the case, considering he is a flight risk and in on an aggravated assault or something like that.

Then I remember that I had been drinking since I got home, and PROBABLY shouldn't drive to a jail buzzed. So I called back and told her that and she gave me a guilt trip.

Unreal. Did I shoot someone? Did I drive around with a warrant? Do I have to constantly save every idiot member of my family? Seems like it.

Welcome to my white trash paradise y'all.
Click to expand...

Honest. I stopped reading this when you said you were annoyed with nana. Thought, "he's full of shit, nana can't annoy Bread". But then I read the rest of it and I get it. Uncle Dumbass isn't going anywhere. $700 isn't getting him out. Maybe just to pay the speeding ticket and a fine but the warrant will keep him in the hoosegow.
 
I can honestly say that I've been through most of the elements in your story and have the utmost compassion for your conundrum. My solution was to live in the forest and not take their calls. I admit it lacks finesse, but nobody ever said life was easy.
 
You're dead on with the ignoring of calls, RS. And I usually do. That way I at least have a chance to make up an excuse/lie in case I'm asked to do something absolutely ridiculous...like drive to a jail to get out an uncle who ain't gettin' out.

But I felt it was safe, and that she just wanted to talk about it. Wrong.

I know better.
 
Keep in mind I polished off a decent amount of whiskey for being home for 2 hours and I have to get up in 7.

But, it's really all perspective based. For example, I used to think my parents drove me nuts, but really they don't. Not that this is comparable to your situation bread. As a really have no family beyond them. There is actually a large family on my dad's side but I pretty much have no contact with any of them (which someone didn't prevent them from apparently sending 8 tons of things for emily that my mother has to haul down here). But, for all the issues I had with all these people before, really they are all quite normal in comparison to my new family. :)

I insinuate to Madeleyne when she says that I hate her mother, that I hate no one (daggerkobe excluded) and that I would have similar issues if I had to live with my mom. Which in the past would be quite true but at the moment it appears I was the past problem. Such ideas are hard to formulate and compare though. She asks what if my mom had no money and had a 21 year old worthless boyfriend what would I do? Like this situation is likely to occur.

Ok enough of my bs. I suppose the point here is that they called you bread because they could. No one in my usa family would ever need shit from me, thus no calls. But now I have like 234 people living off me, so of course calls. sweet.
 
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