I whole heatedly think that Muddy and Bacon need, NEED, to have an off the record, private conversation. I really do. I could see Muddy being a good influence and mentor for my beloved Bacon.
Muddy, I by no means want to make you uncomfortable, but I just can't see you as a druggy, your looks, your personality, your smart,s your talent....I just can't see it. I don't know if you have ever talked in detail, or told stories about your past, and I would never expect you to, but I am curious. I want to know about your past, and the drugs and why you took them, and what you and your life was like on them, how old were you, what got you out of it...etc.
I wanted to say I don't mean to pry, but, then I thought, I do mean to pry, I am curious, I want to know. I've used drugs in the past, I've tried my fair share of stuff, but I never got addicted, I never got too far gone into that world, I always listened to my body, my inner compass, my mothers voice in my head. I understand addiction from a psychological, maybe even to an extent emotional stand point as far as research goes, as far as an outsider trying to look in, but I don't fully understand it because I never went there....so I am curious. I know everyone has their reasons, be it hardships in life, or just "innocent" partying getting out of control, but what really kept you (or anyone here) coming back? How did you feel about yourself during that period?
You obviously don't need to answer any of my questions or thoughts, I would never ever judge, lord knows I am not perfect, and I wouldn't take offence if you didn't, but if you, or anyone here wouldn't mind sharing, I would really like to know and hear about your experiences and your stories.
Do you think it's having been on the...for lack of better wording, low spectrum of things that has given you your quietness and patience?
I personally have damn near no patience. I'm not a spoiled brat, or anything like that, but I hate, hate, hate waiting for anything. I mean I don't mind waiting to use the oven, but when it comes to serious things in life, like a pregnancy, or getting forms from a client, things of that nature, really serious stuff, I have zero patience. I have no choice in waiting certain things out, but I always want to know everything and deal with everything asap. I could never bite my tongue as long as you do, I am one of those people that as soon as the lunch room thing happens, for the umpteenth time, I would blurt out "SERIOUSLY!?! " I don't guess I would be straight up rude, but I would not be able to say nothing like you do.
Ok, that's my half sober half drunk questioning rant for the night. sorry.
I hate it when other people write to much all at once, and here I am doing it myself. SMH.
