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Vegas Lesson #72408: Don't try to give coke to strippers at the Rhino

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When I go to strip clubs, I'm there for at least a few hours. Getting drunk beforehand would do nothing for me. I need some drinks when I'm there. I don't enjoy sipping colas with a bunch of teenagers. Besides, it wouldn't prevent some stripper from trying to steal my shit anyway.
 
pally
jesus Fin christ i want to fukin move to vegas

boys im gonna fukin try to make this sh*t happen

wish i had fukin done that 15 years ago
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Pally, you and me lets do it.

Pally, fuck this place lets just do it.

Pally, i love you

Pally, lets go out in a blaze of glory

Pally, our legends will live on

Pally, if we die RJ said he will make a sticky thread in honor of us

Pally, the sticky thread will expire and be non-sticky in a year


Fuck man Im pumped!! Lets do it!!
 
Oh man I can't freakin WAIT to come visit with MonkeyF, Blitty and Pally a few times a year!!!

Sweet, sweet death, HERE WE COME!!!!

mf_death.gif
:moped: :moped: :moped: :moped:
 
Blitty
Pally, you and me lets do it.

Pally, fuck this place lets just do it.

Pally, i love you

Pally, lets go out in a blaze of glory

Pally, our legends will live on

Pally, if we die RJ said he will make a sticky thread in honor of us

Pally, the sticky thread will expire and be non-sticky in a year


Fuck man Im pumped!! Lets do it!!
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blitty this is extremely well-written and extremely powerful
 
MonkeyF0cker
Condensed version: After about 3 hours of being there...

A girl approached me and started the general stripper conversation.

STRIPPER
So where are you from?

ME
I live in Las Vegas.

STRIPPER
What do yo do?

ME
Fuck strippers.

Stripper giggles uncomfortably. Me takes pleasure in making STRIPPER even more uncomfortable.

STRIPPER
I've had nothing but Mexicans and Indians today. It's good to talk to a white guy.

ME
I'm Mexican.

STRIPPER
Really?

ME
No.

STRIPPER
They're so cheap. Look at that group over there. They aren't spend any money.

ME
Yeah. They suck.

STRIPPER
I'm just trying to party. They just want everything for free.

ME
You're trying to party?

STRIPPER
Yeah. You wanna do a Las Vegas bomb with me?

ME
What's a Las Vegas bomb?

STRIPPER
I don't know but it's good.

ME
(to bartender)
Can I get two Las Vegas bombs?

BARTENDER
Sure. That'll be $28.

Me hands the bartender $35 and the bartender slides two Las Vegas bombs over to STRIPPER and ME. ME slams the Las Vegas bomb reluctantly.

ME
Jesus. That hurts. I guess I've done too many lines tonight.

STRIPPER
Really? I'd love a line. Can I have some?

ME
Yeah. Sure.

STRIPPER
Come with me to the bathroom.

ME
Ok. How are we gonna do this?

STRIPPER
Just come with me.

STRIPPER grabs ME's hand and guides him to the bathroom.

ME
Well... Wait for me. I'm gonna have to go chop some off.

STRIPPER
Just give me the bag. I'll bring it right back out.

ME
I have too much. I'll break some off and bring it out to you. I'll be right back.

STRIPPER
Just give me the bag. I'll be right out.

ME
Umm. Hold on a second.

ME enters the bathroom, goes into a stall and busts out a few lines worth of cocaine into his cigarette celophane. There is a bit of muttering outside of the bathroom that includes STRIPPER's voice and an unknown male. ME exits the stall and the bathroom. SECURITY stands outside of the bathroom entrance.

SECURITY
Sir, you'll have to come with me. You're leaving.

ME
For what?

SECURITY
We have a zero tolerance for drugs here.

ME
Drugs?

SECURITY
If you'd like me to search you, I will.

ME
Whatever.

ME follows SECURITY to the entrance and exits the building.
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Ah, this disdain for authoritative figures is starting to make sense now.

Hey genius, how about you aren't such a moron in public and you won't have these issues? :lmao:

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Love,
Impotent Bread
 
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