I hear ya F0cker. That's just doing the basics. There are certain standards that should be attended to for every table - getting the order correct, having drinks replenished in a timely fashion, any silverware and/or dishes no longer in use removed, all trash (cocktail napkins, sweetner packets, etc) discarded immediately.... these are just the basics. There are other little things that I consider basics in certain atmospheres (a nicely folded napkin upon returning to the table, for instance) depending on the caliber of restaurant.
Some tables don't provide you an opportunity to do anymore than the basics. You could have one table that comes in and knows what they want, doesn't have any questions - orders, eats, and leaves 18% when all you did was pour water, take, deliver, and clear an order. Then you have the people that come in and you walk them through several different wine options based on your acquired knowledge (perhaps bringing them tastes from the bar), they want something other than the butter provided with their bread, they want to substitute everything in their entrees (which generally means the waiter pisses off the kitchen to get the dish the way the customer wants)....there's a litany of things customers can do to make themselves more difficult to wait on - high maintenance people. That's not even factoring a waiter's personality into the equation. There's a bit of a role to play for a good waiter, and this includes being equal parts prostitute and entertainer.
That's all fine with me, by the way. I like to do more than the basics and take pride in facilitating an enjoyable evening for my guests, regardless of the occasion. What's disheartening in this business is that I'm no more likely to get better than 18% from the second table as I was from the first. That's not even the crux of it really, because I wouldn't necessarily deserve more from one table than the other. What annoys me is that those tables would tip the 20 year-old clueless stoner I work with - who's tables looks like war zones - the same percentage as they would leave me for seamless, exceptional service and an immaculately maintained table.