Hooligans Sportsbook

Steves gets his life together

  • Start date •
  • Replies
    1,715 Replies •
  • Views 60,106 Views
Follow
Great news guys.

Not only did some kind God Blessed soul put a dollar in my sack last night, but Survey Junkie is popping this morning so I cashed out $5.55 from there.

I can use that for one MLite at Giovannis tonight, and hopefully I can see that amazing blonde and her Goodfellas laugh again. She laughed hysterically about me not hearing the bartender yelling for me to pay for my beer when I meant to smoke. They were both cool about it but I really like her laugh there. She's probably taken though so I'll tell her stupid jokes while I'm homeless, them when I'm MONEY I'll maybe see if I can rock her fukkin world ONLY IF she's single.

No poker during day today and it is annoying me, but pokerstarspa is ONLY pa players, so can only play during drunkard hours there.
 
It's all good!

Now the police did wake me up this morning, but for good reason - sidewalk work being done and many passers by....my blanket fort is FIERCE when established. The very nice officers even offered me a ride to wherever I needed to go! How cool is that.

I made my $5 in surveyjunkie yesterday despite having an exploding ass, which the hospital took good care of with IVs, blood tests, x-rays and a little food. The nurse there told me that going cold turkey off alcohol is the dumbest thing I can do, so had a couple small swings last night, following puking so hard that I diarrhead my pants in the hospital. Only a bit though, so was able to get it out. I was nauseous and stuck on the throne for like 45 min straight last in Planet Fitness and my ass was so loud yhat lockermates were like what the fuck, so I ambulances it out of there. I'm not there to scare people trying do hard to be healthy. DON'T BE THAT GUEY.

Today is off to a good start.

We are at Starbucks and the Rolling Stones are playing.

 
Last edited:
Vegas Dave or anyone else,

If Donna actually turned out to be a Satan Worshipper baiting me for a Satanic pyramid scheme in which I as paid 100k to aggressively worship and recruit, if you were in my position, WOULD YOU DO IT?

WOULDJA?!


She could....be...a....WITCH!!!!


:eek:

Or....or....

A VAMPIRE?!?!

OR BOTH?????!!!!

 
stevek
Just met a beautiful woman named Donna in Starbucks. Her son was homeless and recently passed from pneumonia. She was homeless at the time with him. Now she isnt.

Incredible person.

I'm meeting her here at 9 am tomorrow and I am going to Church with her.

Not joking for once, real talk.
Click to expand...
See all you doubting Tommy’s, the current thread title is perfect and doesn’t need to be changed!
 
stevek
Just met a beautiful woman named Donna in Starbucks. Her son was homeless and recently passed from pneumonia. She was homeless at the time with him. Now she isnt.

Incredible person.

I'm meeting her here at 9 am tomorrow and I am going to Church with her.

Not joking for once, real talk.
Click to expand...
That's good man, seriously. 👍
 
Looks like I missed Donna, sucks. I will be a reg here looking for her. She is God Blessed.

A few things happened.

I downed a 42 ounce of Old E. Then I listened to Sublime 40 Oz of freedom and felt great.

I sang and sang and sang and didn't make any money but no one minded....until....

I became convinced that everyone around me was involved in the 1200 ebt theft and started screaming at everyone.

Then I started losing my buzz so I bought a 5th of Smirnoff which I drank in roughly half a second flat.

Then I started covering Achtung Baby with felt grate. Then Rattle and Hum which made me crazy. Then Highly Suspect with made me crazier.

Then I was convinced I needed to evidence the muggers so I went into the subway station to take pics of "muggers" MORE LIKE COOL PEOPLE THAT HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THE ACTUAL MUGGING OR MACING. AT. ALL. Got chased up the stairs and out. VERY lucky I wasn't jumped....OR WORSE.

Then I went from bar to bar trying to continue my swill. They all had minimums I couldn't reach with my PayPal. I emptied my pokerstars to chill at one, then they wouldn't let me on because of my blanket bags OR MORE LIKELY THE FACT THAT THEY KNEW I WAS THE GUY YELLING AT EVERYONE.

Then I found like 70% of a gorgeous ipa.

Then the police, whom people called on me, drove me to my sleeping on the grate spot. I realized that my phone was at 5% so I checked into the hospital basically to charge my phone. They dismissed me quickly, and were stunning in doingiPad.

Then I slept on my sewer grate. I was pretty hungover so I told the police and guards I'd move Then continued to be hungover on my sewer grate.

Now I'm at Starbucks. I was a little late for Donna and a woman like her font have time for that shit so it's fine.

Just chugged an 8% Twisted Tea and I do want more, but that feels good.

Of note some cool as fuck dude was listening to me sing last night and seem to dig it before I started yelling Tyler Durded shit at every one.

Very happy I'm not beaten to a pulp, maced, arrested, or worse.

I will miss pikerstars for now and I am great, but it's not making me any money. Surveys are all that does that right now, so as much as it's a true passion of mine now is not the time. It's also distracting me from getting my $522 from unemployment, amongst other VERY IMPORTANT THINGS. I'll return to that once stability is established.

Of note I met a true Coolio bum that sells incredible drawings and he told me where to play music at when I get my money and a cheap intermediate guitar.

I love you all.

-Steves

FYI I'm done proofreading. DEAL WITH IT.

PS it's pretty much in large part how I talk when I'm drunk anyway, so if the foo suits and all that

PPS I almost got raped by a vampire witch but she cackled and left me there naked, forcing me to scrub her....cauldron.

Pfft.

FYI I missed free food and free clothes (I did get free underwear and health and beauty aids yesterday) but the beautiful Español people left a 5 star meal out that I scooped up.

:pope:

Also some guy Wayne was scooping up garbage and I told him I'm interested in work. He said he thought they were looking for a night person witch I would've loved, clean up after the party people and savor all the half smoked cigs. As cool as Wayne was they aren't hiring right now.

Both vapes died :(
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.