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Getting ready for bed last night, I saw myself in the mirror and my face was all red. Like I was having a temper tantrum or something. Or maybe like I had just been standing on my head. Red face. I was completely calm and I didn't know what was going on. I tried calming myself further with some deep breathing and pleasant thoughts. I looked again - still with the red face. I thought maybe I was having blood pressure spike and I was about to have a heart attack.

Like wtf.

Finally I just figured, "Fuck it. Whatever will be, will be." I went to bed.

It came to me in the middle of the night. I went for a walk with Jenny yesterday and my face is suntanned.

Suntanned.

We vampires forget about phenomena like that.
 
It was actually a bit cool on the lake yesterday. I was wearing a hoodie the whole time we were walking. I think that might have contributed to my confusion. Somewhere in the cobwebby corners of my brain there is a rigid association of suntans to hot weather.

But no - not necessarily. My angry face is living proof.
 
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if, instead of pooping poop, we pooped angry muscles.

Not talking about the sphincter muscle and other anal/rectal muscles involved in delivering the poop - talking about the poop itself being an angry muscle. Like it goes into the toilet and it is all pissed off and it flexes and tries to stop itself from being flushed then it gets into the sewage system and is always trying to start fights.

What if poop was an angry muscle?

It's a concept I am working on.
 
Muddy that sounds fucking painful man. I would not want an angry muscle anywhere near my asshole.

On that note, Lennon snorting coke.

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I feel like my hair is going for shit. While I still don't have a trace of gray - which would be seen as a very positive thing by most traditional measures - it is starting to thin out and just go generally lifeless at an accelerating rate.

I could see myself going voluntarily bald in the not-too-distant future. Which would be fine. No problem with that. If it gets so it just looks ratty I will say fuck it and shave it off.

Might even be a bit liberating.

Just a bit surprising, the sudden decline.
 
It is perfectly normal for people to lose between 40 - 120 strands of hair PER DAY. Sometimes you may lose more pending age, and stress, ect. So maybe, don't freak out yet. I forget what it is, maybe folic acid or something that you may consider having more of in your diet to help your follicles continue to thrive upon your head.
 
I had a friend Mark who killed himself . . . hmmm, close to 25 years ago now. I remember a big, huge issue to him was losing his hair. He was so bent out of shape because he was going bald. Near the end he tried a weave - which I thought looked pretty good (but then I thought he looked fine regardless.)

Not saying he killed himself solely because of going bald - but it was a THING for him.

And I used to say, dude, who cares? Leave it. Cut it all off. Wear a hat. Whatever.

And his reaction was, "Easy for you to say."

But now I'm putting my money where my mouth is. I am looking the issue square in the eye and ----> who cares?
 
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