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Oscar Pistorius

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Better late than never, I guess:

The Onion's Tips For Not Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend


Be sure to avoid firing a gun in the general direction of your girlfriend, regardless of the situation.

Shy away from doing anything that may cause your girlfriend a massive amount of blood loss, such as beating her, stabbing her, or shooting her multiple times.

Consider performing a task that has a low risk of accidentally murdering your girlfriend, like giving her flowers, taking her to dinner, or letting her continue living and breathing.

Remain generally cognizant of the fact that three gunshots to the head and torso will, in most situations, fatally wound a person, and that this fact will, therefore, likely apply to your girlfriend as well.

If there is a locked door in your home and there is even a remote possibility that the person you’re currently dating is behind that door and could be immediately killed by the bullets you fire at the door, try not to fire a gun directly at that door.

In general, if there is something that you think might cause your girlfriend to stop living, don’t do that thing.
 
Maybe Oscar wasn't so wrong.

JOHANNESBURG Oct 27 (Reuters) - South Africa soccer captain Senzo Meyiwa was shot dead by intruders when trying to protect his girlfriend during a robbery at her home near Johannesburg, officials said on Monday.

The 27-year-old Orlando Pirates goalkeeper died on Sunday after suffering a single shot through the chest at the home of girlfriend Kelly Khumalo, a local actress and singer, in the township of Vosloorus.

"Two guys entered the house and demanded cellphones, money and other valuables," provincial Community Safety official Sizakele Nkosi-Malubane told reporters at the scene.

"Senzo tried to protect Kelly because one of the men had a gun pointed towards her."

Police on Sunday said two men entered Khumalo's house about 8 p.m. local time (1800 GMT). A third waited outside the house and all three fled immediately after the shooting.

Meyiwa was declared dead on arrival at hospital, the police added.
 
A couple lessons to be learned here from my perspective.

1) If someone is pointing a gun at you and demanding stuff, give them the stuff. Be completely cooperative.

2) If you are sleeping with your girlfriend and you hear noises in the bathroom in the night and the girlfriend is not in bed, it might be her in the bathroom and don't shoot her full of holes. Unless you want her dead of course in which case, fire away.
 
Yap. Appeal papers filed.

In an official statement the prosecutors explained, "Well the judge was stupid as fok so we thought we would roll the dice and see if we could get someone not completely retarded in the head the next time around."



:handshake:
 
Mudcat
A couple lessons to be learned here from my perspective.

1) If someone is pointing a gun at you and demanding stuff, give them the stuff. Be completely cooperative.

2) If you are sleeping with your girlfriend and you hear noises in the bathroom in the night and the girlfriend is not in bed, it might be her in the bathroom and don't shoot her full of holes. Unless you want her dead of course in which case, fire away.
Click to expand...

:laugh:
 
I dunno. I skimmed over an article on my lunch today. I think they file the appeal and then retry the case. I believe it goes before a small panel of judges at the South African appellate court???

I guess there is a chance it will be denied. In fact I think it has to be approved by the judge that they are basically accusing of being out to lunch, the quote-unquote "retarded as fok" judge.

But the article I read made it sound like a formality.


I am skimpy on the details right at this second but I pledge to follow up.
 
Oscar Pistorius case: South African judge rejects murder appeal challenge


What this means is, the prosecutors can go ahead and try again for a more substantial conviction instead of the weaksauce thing they got first time around.

He was originally convicted of Culpable Whoopsy-Daisy.



The defense tried to block it but the high court ruled they can go ahead and try the murdering murderer for murder.
 
Judges, lawyers and prosecutors always find ways to make more money. Hey lets try him again... will keep us busy for another year and we can keep our jobs making even more money. It's not like the judicial system ever runs out of money and goes bankrupt.
 
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