Hooligans Sportsbook

Oh no, it's Tomato!

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Alas, my friends, no time for poetry today
As it's planning period for Tomato, the students are on their way
Back to class that is, Tomato teaches mathematics
If only he had students that were fanatics
Bored they are of Tomato's teaching style
Not one of them wanting to learn about percentiles
That's not stopping Tomato from making a sharp play
Beating Bookmaker, that would make Tomato's day!

KANSAS CITY +1.5 (-120) BOOKMAKER
 
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Off to the Tigers game Tomato goes
A beautiful day out, Tomato suppose
When you live in the great city of Detroit
There are some things out to exploit
Linesmaker's mistakes are Tomato's fave
Increasing his bankrolll, better than a rave
While he sees that the Tigers are -130 at Pinnacle
And a great +130 at SIA, he'd normally be cynical
Always taking the dogs, that's where the value is
But he can't do it this time, gee whiz
It's unfortunate he's on the square side
As the dogs have been one hell of a ride
The thing is whenever he goes to the game
The Tigers win, it's always the same
So take the boys in blue
Your bankroll increases, tis so true

DETROIT -130 THE GREEK
 
The last selection was a prime example
Of how a square should not gamble
Tomato knew he was on the square side
At the ballpark what an emotional ride
Down 5-0 with the ace cruisin'
Tomato was in for a bruisin'
Betting a line that was in the -130s
Would be something you'd expect out of Palos Verdes
You see the people in L.A.
Are fair weather, or so they say
Frequently shying away from the big chalk
They look at the run line, then they will talk
"Well the moneyline was pretty high
They'll probably win by more than one, that's why
I'm going to take them -1.5
The line is closing? Guess I'll hit them live"
These fools, squares, they make no money
Rather they make up for it trying to be funny
jjgold said that "half points don't count"
Which is why his losses are starting to mount
People need to realize that books tell the winning side
Minutes before the game watch the line slide
Square books jack up the price on one team
Seemingly being oblivious to the steam
These books won't let Tomato play
As they saw him winning and said "have a good day!"
Yet these books still tell you who is the sharp play
Building up your bankroll before May
Fade the clowns taking the large favorites run line
Do this and your gambling will be fine
The .20 numbers are where all the value is
Time for a market efficiency pop quiz!
What number do you think a book is more confident in?
.06 or .10 where do they win?
The .06 of course! Those are the sharp odds
No one wants to bet on the squads
With the high juice yet the worse team
Which is why +1.5 always has the lean
Bet these teams and witness the scene
On the gambling forums of the idiots who make no money
Cry about their losses, it is so funny
Please don't worry about them, they'll never understand
Why laying -120 on the Pirates gets you to the promised land

PITTSBURGH +1.5 (-120) DIAMOND
 
Tomato with another winner
That last one bought him dinner
It's easy for Tomato to say
Without question today was his best day
As Tomato bets nothing but dogs
Frequently on the Arkansas Hogs
Especially in football where they suck ass
There's lots of value as they lose with class
Lets talk about losing by a small amount
It happens in baseball by Tomato's count
Nearly 15%, depending on the site
Increase for road teams, for Tomato's delight
Lets take for example the team from Houston
A money-making train they have been
Laying +105 on a team that covers
Over 60% of the time, can we be lovers?
Marrying a team, that'd be odd for a Tomato
But then again he lives with potatoes
In a vegetable garden full of winners
As none of them are beginners
Understanding the value is on the run line
Tomato takes the points as they're just fine!

HOUSTON +1.5 (-110) BOOKMAKER
 
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