fiveteamer
#nonewfriends
- Since
- Jan 27, 2010
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I had no intention of talking to her again but I received the most fucked up e-mail this afternoon and it set me off.
So I've decided to post our e-mail exchange.
Nicole
Madmaxx messaged me on FB again - something about GL. I haven't been on in months and I thought you hadn't either. I just ask you keep me out of anything you are saying on there.
I hope all went well with your aunt.
----
Jason
Are you requesting that I not talk about you with my friends?
May I request that you not talk about me or any intimate details about me with Quinton? I guess it's a bit too late for that, huh?
The hypocrisy of your actions the past little while is almost too much to take. You have the fucking nerve to tell me not to email you at work because that would be inappropriate? I had one weak moment and sent you stupid text messages and you respond back with "do you think that is a good idea?" Do you not remember the way you conducted yourself last spring, Nicole? Do you not remember the hysterical phone calls, the ranting front and back letters, the constant text messages, the WORK e-mails, pulling me away from my desk to have you bawl your eyes out in front of me. I tried to move on back then. I tried to move on and forget you and if you just would have left me the fuck alone then none of this would have happened. The only reason you acted in that manner is because of your fucked up daddy/abandonment issues. So fuck you. Fuck you for that.
I'm sorry for showing up on Friday. I was delirious on a lack of sleep and food. I spent five days feeling sorry for myself. That's why I was sad.
There are many awful things I can say right now but I choose not to. After seeing you Monday I came back from the gym and just stopped feeling sorry for myself.
Don't worry about what I say and to whom. I'll not give a fuck right back.
-----
Nicole
This is why I wanted to talk in person on Monday.
I guess it is a roller-coaster. You're right though, I did irrational
things when I was trying to hold on to you/us. You were very patient
with me. I'm sorry.
I was open seeing you on Sunday. I'm just really trying to keep from
hurting you so that is why I asked if it was a good idea or maybe if
you were asking in a moment of weakness and would change your mind
shortly after.
I don't talk about you to Quinton at all - believe it or not. It
wouldn't be fair to either of you.
I was just shocked to get a message from madmaxx and that he was
talking about GL because I thought you weren't on there anymore. I
don't mean don't talk to your friends about me. I guess we've just
seen the repercussions of what happens when someone on the forum
decides to take things outside of that world and message me. I'm a big
girl though, I'll just ignore them.
I'm sorry you're angry. I tried to call you but I guess you've changed
your number.
I will always give a fuck.
---
Nicole
And the only reason I asked that you email my gmail account was
because I'm constantly in tears and I'm trying to stop doing that at
work. I am sorry that upset you. I'm really not trying to make things
worse even though it seems I'm failing miserably.
----
Nicole
And I didn't do any of that stuff in the spring because of my issues.
I did it because I wanted to be together. My issues did keep me around
hoping and hoping for too long.
I guess you are telling me to forget everything you said Friday.
You've succeeded in hurting me if that makes you feel any better.
I'm stupid and I'll stop now.
-----
Jason
No you're not. You're not hurt. Do me a favour and STOP fucking lying about shit. Trust me, it'll feel better.
I don't need your pity. I don't need it now and I didn't need it over the past four or five months.
----
Nicole
I never pitied you. I am hurt. What is this anger?
----
Jason
What is this anger? Are you mocking me now? Please tell me you and him were snickering as you typed that out...
Who did you go to Montreal with, Nicole? Your Tripadvisor review says you traveled as a couple. How many times did you go "camping" with "Lily" this summer? I'm here in Toronto watching your stupid fucking dog while you're sucking off a guy? I had to dodge my landlord for 5 months because I stole a locker that didn't belong to me to store your shit and you're off fucking this dude? And then when you finally pick up your dog and shit you toss me a $15 gift card to Subway, like "Here you go kiddo!". You've been seeing him for quite some time now and it probably started to get a little serious so only when you had your dog and your shit did you decide to tell me about it. Let me guess, your "therapist" thought it was best to stop seeing me, right?
What I don't understand is why you kept trying to have sex with me. He must fuck like a 16 year old teenager. He certainly looks like he fucks like one. Whenever I tried to talk to him about sex he just giggled like Michael Jackson. I was almost certain he was gay. The only thing I meant on Friday was that I don't blame you. I blame him. You are a girl of low self esteem. He should have known better. But the basis of your relationship appears to be a sound foundation. As he put it "I'm lonely, she's lonely, I'm sad, she's sad..." HERP DERP sounds like a recipe for success right there. And you need to relay a message, if I ever cross paths with that fucker again I'm going to hang him upside by his scrawny ankles. Matty had to prevent me from going around the corner and causing damage last Thursday. And if you think I'm bluffing, try me. I have nothing to lose. I'll do six months to send him to the dentist.
The sad thing is that you have nobody in your corner telling you what a fucked up thing you did to me. You're either lacking so much self awareness that I have to question your intellect or you really do have a conscience and you know what a fucking bitch move you pulled. You may not be an awful person, but you did was an awful, awful thing.
Fuck you to hell for that.
-----
Nicole
I didn't go to Montreal with Quinton. I told you the truth when I said I didn't talk to him for almost as long as you didn't. I did go to Montreal with a guy but it wasn't Quinton, it was a guy I met through soccer. I actually didn't tell anyone that I went with him, not even my parents. Probably a stupid move in hindsite. We dated for about 3 weeks and I refused to sleep with him - I was very clearly not over you at the time. I think I texted you the entire time we were there. I went camping with Lily once this summer. The only other time I went out of town was by myself to the Sault and once up near Barrie to that cottage with Corrine's family and her friends. I haven't gone away with Quinton. I really am going backpacking with my sister on Sunday. I'm not sure how else to convince you - would you like me to have these people write to you and tell you?
Quinton isn't here right now, we see each other about once a week and are taking things very slow. As soon as it became apparent we might be more than friends though I told you.
The awful thing I did was starting to date him right? I understand that you hate me. I don't think I can change that. I told you though, I put you absolutely first for 4 years. Even when I tried to date someone else once or twice I couldn't do it. You kept telling me and telling me to move on so I am trying. I know I didn't pick a good person to move on with. I guess I did kind of rationalize it because you guys hadn't talked in so long. Maybe we're both terrible, evil people, I don't know anymore.
I was heartbroken on Friday to see you in so much pain but I also felt happy for you that you seemed to have a plan in place. I really hope you continue to pursue those things. You deserve to be happy and I hope that you will find that.
Again, I would like to talk in person but if you just want to keep emailing me angry assumptions that is fine too.
---
Jason
You want to know the real, more embarrassing reason Elise stopped seeing me. Here, I'll tell you, and it had very little to do with earrings.
It was my dick and you. Mostly my dick, but also definitely you. She e-mailed me back in April and laid it all out. She was not over her ex and just wanted to fuck around and be "used sexually". But after I told you about her you went ape shit crazy and I ended up feeling guilty and wasn't even able to get my cock hard anymore. She also saw my phone one morning and saw 8, fucking 8 unread, frantic texts from you. She knew the telltale signs of a crazy ex and didn't want to have anything to do with it. If it wasn't for you she'd probably still be digging her nails into my back now.
You really consider yourself to be altruistic, eh? You've got quite the ego on you. You're practically Jesus for all the sacrifices you had to make over the past four years. I'm starting the Church of Nicole. You keep telling yourself and other people what you need to. Like all that bullshit how I never wanted to do anything. FUCKING CHRIST how many times did I try to pry you pout of bed on a Saturday afternoon. Don't give me that shit. You talk about how you want to be taken care of and you don't always want to be in the driver's seat... Would it have killed you to cook a god damn meal every now and again? Talk about gender roles...
And don't fucking question my goals in life or what I have or haven't done yet. What are your lofty life goals? To go from an 18 to a 19? To work as an admin assistant in Qatar? To make a baby with some pencil neck, conniving IT geek? The fuck are you so proud about? Where does this arrogance come from? The 10 years you took to complete your undergrad? The job that the guy in the mental hospital got for you that now pays you too much money? The weight you lost? You didn't even earn your weight loss. You wasted 35k of tax payer money to get a surgery that five fucking hours a week of cardio and a proper diet would have achieved. How many times, oh how many times I wanted to tell you to stop eating cheese slices and cookies. I never did, you know feelings and shit. You should send Quinton a picture of what you looked like three years ago. I'm sure he still would have held your hand and fucked you. After listening to his story about how he accidentally went on a date with a "pear shaped girl" and then went on a rant about "fatties" like some juvenile frat boy, I'm going to guess no he wouldn't still hit that. There is a reason Bryan didn't want to hold your hand in public, Nicole. He was ashamed of your weight. I wasn't though. I was there for YOU, to support YOU just as much. I loved you for you.
But I'm going to be okay though. Give me six or seven years of school and I'll end up in a better place than the lot of you. I got stood up by my aunt, I'm not getting any money for school. I asked guys on gl for a loan of $1000 and had four offers to loan me the money. You know, the same people you thought didn't like me and only thought of me of a dancing bear? Yeah, those people.
I wasn't hurting on Friday. Trust me. It was a mixture of anger and self loathing. I'll be just fine. I'm going to study, work, drink, fuck, fuck, fuck, try drugs, fuck and love somebody. And I'm going to do all this shit without a tinge of guilt.
I don't want to talk face to face and I definitely don't want to see you again. I don't have anything more to say.
Not saying this to be an asshole but don't stop sucking and jerking until he's finished cumming. I can't stress how important that is. You haven't figured that one out after four years.
See you in another life.
So I've decided to post our e-mail exchange.
Nicole
Madmaxx messaged me on FB again - something about GL. I haven't been on in months and I thought you hadn't either. I just ask you keep me out of anything you are saying on there.
I hope all went well with your aunt.
----
Jason
Are you requesting that I not talk about you with my friends?
May I request that you not talk about me or any intimate details about me with Quinton? I guess it's a bit too late for that, huh?
The hypocrisy of your actions the past little while is almost too much to take. You have the fucking nerve to tell me not to email you at work because that would be inappropriate? I had one weak moment and sent you stupid text messages and you respond back with "do you think that is a good idea?" Do you not remember the way you conducted yourself last spring, Nicole? Do you not remember the hysterical phone calls, the ranting front and back letters, the constant text messages, the WORK e-mails, pulling me away from my desk to have you bawl your eyes out in front of me. I tried to move on back then. I tried to move on and forget you and if you just would have left me the fuck alone then none of this would have happened. The only reason you acted in that manner is because of your fucked up daddy/abandonment issues. So fuck you. Fuck you for that.
I'm sorry for showing up on Friday. I was delirious on a lack of sleep and food. I spent five days feeling sorry for myself. That's why I was sad.
There are many awful things I can say right now but I choose not to. After seeing you Monday I came back from the gym and just stopped feeling sorry for myself.
Don't worry about what I say and to whom. I'll not give a fuck right back.
-----
Nicole
This is why I wanted to talk in person on Monday.
I guess it is a roller-coaster. You're right though, I did irrational
things when I was trying to hold on to you/us. You were very patient
with me. I'm sorry.
I was open seeing you on Sunday. I'm just really trying to keep from
hurting you so that is why I asked if it was a good idea or maybe if
you were asking in a moment of weakness and would change your mind
shortly after.
I don't talk about you to Quinton at all - believe it or not. It
wouldn't be fair to either of you.
I was just shocked to get a message from madmaxx and that he was
talking about GL because I thought you weren't on there anymore. I
don't mean don't talk to your friends about me. I guess we've just
seen the repercussions of what happens when someone on the forum
decides to take things outside of that world and message me. I'm a big
girl though, I'll just ignore them.
I'm sorry you're angry. I tried to call you but I guess you've changed
your number.
I will always give a fuck.
---
Nicole
And the only reason I asked that you email my gmail account was
because I'm constantly in tears and I'm trying to stop doing that at
work. I am sorry that upset you. I'm really not trying to make things
worse even though it seems I'm failing miserably.
----
Nicole
And I didn't do any of that stuff in the spring because of my issues.
I did it because I wanted to be together. My issues did keep me around
hoping and hoping for too long.
I guess you are telling me to forget everything you said Friday.
You've succeeded in hurting me if that makes you feel any better.
I'm stupid and I'll stop now.
-----
Jason
No you're not. You're not hurt. Do me a favour and STOP fucking lying about shit. Trust me, it'll feel better.
I don't need your pity. I don't need it now and I didn't need it over the past four or five months.
----
Nicole
I never pitied you. I am hurt. What is this anger?
----
Jason
What is this anger? Are you mocking me now? Please tell me you and him were snickering as you typed that out...
Who did you go to Montreal with, Nicole? Your Tripadvisor review says you traveled as a couple. How many times did you go "camping" with "Lily" this summer? I'm here in Toronto watching your stupid fucking dog while you're sucking off a guy? I had to dodge my landlord for 5 months because I stole a locker that didn't belong to me to store your shit and you're off fucking this dude? And then when you finally pick up your dog and shit you toss me a $15 gift card to Subway, like "Here you go kiddo!". You've been seeing him for quite some time now and it probably started to get a little serious so only when you had your dog and your shit did you decide to tell me about it. Let me guess, your "therapist" thought it was best to stop seeing me, right?
What I don't understand is why you kept trying to have sex with me. He must fuck like a 16 year old teenager. He certainly looks like he fucks like one. Whenever I tried to talk to him about sex he just giggled like Michael Jackson. I was almost certain he was gay. The only thing I meant on Friday was that I don't blame you. I blame him. You are a girl of low self esteem. He should have known better. But the basis of your relationship appears to be a sound foundation. As he put it "I'm lonely, she's lonely, I'm sad, she's sad..." HERP DERP sounds like a recipe for success right there. And you need to relay a message, if I ever cross paths with that fucker again I'm going to hang him upside by his scrawny ankles. Matty had to prevent me from going around the corner and causing damage last Thursday. And if you think I'm bluffing, try me. I have nothing to lose. I'll do six months to send him to the dentist.
The sad thing is that you have nobody in your corner telling you what a fucked up thing you did to me. You're either lacking so much self awareness that I have to question your intellect or you really do have a conscience and you know what a fucking bitch move you pulled. You may not be an awful person, but you did was an awful, awful thing.
Fuck you to hell for that.
-----
Nicole
I didn't go to Montreal with Quinton. I told you the truth when I said I didn't talk to him for almost as long as you didn't. I did go to Montreal with a guy but it wasn't Quinton, it was a guy I met through soccer. I actually didn't tell anyone that I went with him, not even my parents. Probably a stupid move in hindsite. We dated for about 3 weeks and I refused to sleep with him - I was very clearly not over you at the time. I think I texted you the entire time we were there. I went camping with Lily once this summer. The only other time I went out of town was by myself to the Sault and once up near Barrie to that cottage with Corrine's family and her friends. I haven't gone away with Quinton. I really am going backpacking with my sister on Sunday. I'm not sure how else to convince you - would you like me to have these people write to you and tell you?
Quinton isn't here right now, we see each other about once a week and are taking things very slow. As soon as it became apparent we might be more than friends though I told you.
The awful thing I did was starting to date him right? I understand that you hate me. I don't think I can change that. I told you though, I put you absolutely first for 4 years. Even when I tried to date someone else once or twice I couldn't do it. You kept telling me and telling me to move on so I am trying. I know I didn't pick a good person to move on with. I guess I did kind of rationalize it because you guys hadn't talked in so long. Maybe we're both terrible, evil people, I don't know anymore.
I was heartbroken on Friday to see you in so much pain but I also felt happy for you that you seemed to have a plan in place. I really hope you continue to pursue those things. You deserve to be happy and I hope that you will find that.
Again, I would like to talk in person but if you just want to keep emailing me angry assumptions that is fine too.
---
Jason
You want to know the real, more embarrassing reason Elise stopped seeing me. Here, I'll tell you, and it had very little to do with earrings.
It was my dick and you. Mostly my dick, but also definitely you. She e-mailed me back in April and laid it all out. She was not over her ex and just wanted to fuck around and be "used sexually". But after I told you about her you went ape shit crazy and I ended up feeling guilty and wasn't even able to get my cock hard anymore. She also saw my phone one morning and saw 8, fucking 8 unread, frantic texts from you. She knew the telltale signs of a crazy ex and didn't want to have anything to do with it. If it wasn't for you she'd probably still be digging her nails into my back now.
You really consider yourself to be altruistic, eh? You've got quite the ego on you. You're practically Jesus for all the sacrifices you had to make over the past four years. I'm starting the Church of Nicole. You keep telling yourself and other people what you need to. Like all that bullshit how I never wanted to do anything. FUCKING CHRIST how many times did I try to pry you pout of bed on a Saturday afternoon. Don't give me that shit. You talk about how you want to be taken care of and you don't always want to be in the driver's seat... Would it have killed you to cook a god damn meal every now and again? Talk about gender roles...
And don't fucking question my goals in life or what I have or haven't done yet. What are your lofty life goals? To go from an 18 to a 19? To work as an admin assistant in Qatar? To make a baby with some pencil neck, conniving IT geek? The fuck are you so proud about? Where does this arrogance come from? The 10 years you took to complete your undergrad? The job that the guy in the mental hospital got for you that now pays you too much money? The weight you lost? You didn't even earn your weight loss. You wasted 35k of tax payer money to get a surgery that five fucking hours a week of cardio and a proper diet would have achieved. How many times, oh how many times I wanted to tell you to stop eating cheese slices and cookies. I never did, you know feelings and shit. You should send Quinton a picture of what you looked like three years ago. I'm sure he still would have held your hand and fucked you. After listening to his story about how he accidentally went on a date with a "pear shaped girl" and then went on a rant about "fatties" like some juvenile frat boy, I'm going to guess no he wouldn't still hit that. There is a reason Bryan didn't want to hold your hand in public, Nicole. He was ashamed of your weight. I wasn't though. I was there for YOU, to support YOU just as much. I loved you for you.
But I'm going to be okay though. Give me six or seven years of school and I'll end up in a better place than the lot of you. I got stood up by my aunt, I'm not getting any money for school. I asked guys on gl for a loan of $1000 and had four offers to loan me the money. You know, the same people you thought didn't like me and only thought of me of a dancing bear? Yeah, those people.
I wasn't hurting on Friday. Trust me. It was a mixture of anger and self loathing. I'll be just fine. I'm going to study, work, drink, fuck, fuck, fuck, try drugs, fuck and love somebody. And I'm going to do all this shit without a tinge of guilt.
I don't want to talk face to face and I definitely don't want to see you again. I don't have anything more to say.
Not saying this to be an asshole but don't stop sucking and jerking until he's finished cumming. I can't stress how important that is. You haven't figured that one out after four years.
See you in another life.
theres some issues going on there....
