joke thread

[Matty]

 

[Matty]

@CASPERWAIT$ here's one for your Facebook:

Santa's sack is so large because he only comes once a year

 

[Matty]

Wrong thread you self-involved asshole

 

[roguejuror]

@CASPERWAIT$ here's one for your Facebook:

Santa's sack is so large because he only comes once a year

 

[MrX]

Wrong thread you self-involved asshole

But you drew an angle grinder.

 

[reno cool]

this was a lot of scrolling down for no joke. Very unsatisfying

 

[Matty]

I organized a threesome last week.

There was a couple of no shows, but I handled it alright.

 

[Blitty]

 

[Blitty]

 

[Matty]

Q. What is Whitney Houston's favorite porn?




























A. HENTAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

[stevek]

I tried so hard not to click because I KNEW you'd make me lose my shit in Starbucks.

Matty, you Fucker.

 

[roguejuror]

I tried so hard not to click because I KNEW you'd make me lose my shit in Starbucks.

Matty, you Fucker.

Literally?

 

[stevek]

Literally?

Nah butt close.

Who are Plummer's worst enemies?

Nah, not all the people he's spinelessly escammed and their friends.

Answer -

Every mirror in the world

 

[Matty]

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

 

[betplom]

A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?'"

"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filth, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship the good Lord.

" So the next day, the lady brings her two female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want to fuck us?”
=
=
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One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put the bible away you jackass, our prayers have been answered!"

 

[betplom]

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?​

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

 

[betplom]

What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?​

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

 

[Tron]

This is getting out of hand it’s all over the forum. Love ya Stevie but jfc