Drunk fiver is a lot more reliable and together than my roommate. That is a horrible fact. He called her out on it last night and he was spot on.
Right now she's puking. I don't think she's gone through a weekend without grossly overdrinking and puking. Last night, I offered Fiver and Blitty 5 to 1 odds that she wouldn't puke and they wisely declined.
Fiver aptly renamed some conceited Lebanese asshole prick Joe Al-Qaeda.
Fiver-who the fok is named Joe? Must be a made-up name.
Me-Like Acid Joe?
Fiver-Acid Joe's a made-up name, I think it's short for something else. [10-second pause] Oh, Joseph.
We went to an AHL game at Ricoh Coliseum. Great game, but the most surreal thing was the crowd. I know it was not a wise comment to make but everyone there looked like a retard. Like seriously. Dogs were allowed at the game for some reason. - one of them started peeing in front of a concession and its owner let him finish his business while looking around, half-expecting other people to bring him paper towels or some shit.
Blitty - Hi, I'm from "America" and I like Nickelback.
Fiver's face when he realized we brought him inside a black bar
