Gamelive, I need you to remake me.

[wal66]

I need you guys to make me meaner. More thuggish and intimidating. I wanna be badass.

I try to be witty and tough and sternly sarcastic but I just don't have that "punch" yet. Here is a quote of one of my retorts to Walkers comments. While I liked how I crafted it I was left feeling it wasn't tough enough.

Walker, just curious here. Do you have an oxygen tube up there or do you have gill on your back? With your head so far up your own ass for so long surely you would suffocate otherwise.

I need you guys to give me some punching power. Make me bigger, faster, stronger. Make me forumville version of Major Steve Austin. Make me the 6 Million Dollar Wal.

 

[roguejuror]

mrs. x regulate this bitch

 

[MonkeyF0cker]

It's most effective if you come with two insults simultaneously. Short and concise.

(poster), you've got your head so far up your ass the only thing you see is Richard Gere's gerbil.

And don't say "just curious" or anything close to that. That's pussy. It's like asking for permission to insult them.

 

[wal66]

I knew MF would take on this request. He spew insults like NAS spits lyrics.

 

[Matty]

I agree with Monkey, especially if you're gonna use well-known material like the old head-up-your-ass metaphor. Adding something unexpected will give it that extra push over the cliff. ink:

And just go straight to it, no need to preface a zinger.

Also try to avoid the interrogative form - gotta make it sound like a scientific fact.

 

[wal66]

This transformation is gonna be more of a challenge than I anticipated. Punching a guy is so much easier.

 

[Bread]

I have a question: What the hell you know 'bout NAS, Wally???

 

[Matty]

You can do it Wally. Here's some study material.

At the 3:59 mark, you'll find the proper way to use the question form to set up the damage:

-Did your parents have any children that lived?
-Sir, yes sir!
-I bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!

 

[wal66]

Bread I grew up on Hip Hop. I can't flow but I can appreciate.

 

[Bread]

Ah nice Matty. Bow down to R. Lee Ermey's crushing skills.

 

[stevek173]

I could use an aggression tune up as well. Will there be classes or what?

 

[Matty]

Yap Stevie Boy. We're thinking about a one-day boot camp:

-Bateman kicks off the day with his Master Class on mental toughness and relentlessness.
-pally leads a workshop on how to camouflage your insults under 8 to 10 layers of deadpan irony.
-After lunch, Bread takes you on a field trip so you can try and apply your new skills on random passersby*
-At the end of the day, you get to face off one-on-one against the poster of your choice in one of 5 levels of opposition from 1.Jello to 5.Coked-up Pavy.

*Bread will critique your performance and award style points for your ability to defuse potentially violent situations.

 

[kato]

 

[Matty]

BTW, poster faceoffs are subject to availability. I will stand in for Jello if need be.

 

[roguejuror]

LOL

 

[wal66]

That seminar sounds like it will ROCK!

I have to attend one next month but my topic choices are Nitrate Nitrate Uptakes and MLSS Reductions.

Matty, performance evaluations points will be deducted should an attendee strike or make physical contact with another or are these bonus points?

 

[kato]

imo wal, work on the verbal assaults first, then move to physical harm if need be

 

[Matty]

Self-defense will be allowed and similarly evaluated. Up to Bread to choose between boxing and MMA rules.