Right off the bat, the room your singing in sucks. too much echo. You tried to add extra words in, where there should have only been a couple, and to me, it sounds rushed....which is not nice to listen too. Despite the fact you were being creating and trying to switch out words, when you were singing the chorus, specifically the "now I'm free"....too high. Too loud....IMO, should have been a touch softer. You really did bad at 3:09 to 3:22 were the worst to me. Trying to put too many words in at once were they don't belong. sounds like shit. 3:42...wtf was that?!
The guitar was descent, could have been better, but decent. I realize you were just dicking around, and as far as that is concerned, I give it a 7.5 out of 10.