Hooligans Sportsbook

joke thread

  • Start date •
  • Replies
    304 Replies •
  • Views 23,822 Views
Follow
FB_IMG_1666633817527.jpg
 
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is Completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddybears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It's obvious that he has taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them.

She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and Huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She finds it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but don't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking. After a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom, where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
 
I'm not sure about you but I am thrilled the song "Smoking in the boys room" was made in 1973. Can you imagine if it were made today? The title would be " Vaping in the Gender Neutral Area". Just doesn't roll off your lips, does it?
 
A deformed and ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno...never found the head."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.