CASPERWAIT$
Drama Moobs Your Mom
- Since
- Aug 3, 2010
- Messages
- 14,610
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Hola chicas and chicklettes ( I think that's a plural version of 18 year old chicas), Life has it's up and downs, and I have come to the conclusion that we should embrace our bad days. That said, I am going to share with you 48 hours that I will tell my future kids about. It all started.......
Sunday 12:10 AM: after a couple of Guinness, I decided to brush my teeth (in the dark). Don't know what was worse, brushing my teeth with Vagisil (don't ask) or deciding the fresh taste afterwards was more enjoyable that Aqua Fresh.
Sunday 3:00 AM: In a middle of a deep slumber, my alarm goes off. Meant to set it for 6am. Wide awake, I take a jog to the local supermarket for some coffee. On my jog, I forget I am wearing my pajamas. Worse still, said pajamas fit loose. Even worse, I am commando under said pajamas EVEN WORSE, wallet, phone, and change in pocket is weighing down pajamas. Let's just say the only thing that didn't get me arrested for indecent exposure is the realtive emptiness of the store. I did hear one elderly woman (they are always up shopping at that hour in Vegas) snicker something about not knowing nuts and rasins were half off today.
Monday 11:00 AM : Call into a local sports radio show. Not only do they laugh at me, they play my phone call iin sound bites for the rest of the afternoon. Getting made fun of is one thing. Getting made fun of every hour by your own voice is humiliating.
Monday 2:00 PM: Mc Rib sandwich is sold out at my local McDonalds
Monday 2:15 PM : Mc Rib sandwich is sold out at my NOT local McDonalds
Monday 2:30 PM: Get kicked out of another McDonalds for punching a stuffed lifelike version of Ronald McDonald.
Monday 6:00 PM: Girl texts me to hang out. Of course I accept. Come to find out, she meant to text ANOTHER Chris.
Monday 7:00 PM: Someone forgets to tell the Sixers that you are allowed to score in the first half of a game.
Monday 9:00 PM: Someone forgets to tell the Sixers that one more basket is the difference between covering the OVER and the line.
Tuesday 12:00 AM: My BluRay copy of "Indepenis Day" does not come from Netflix as expected. they inadvertantly send me "Twilight in the Loafers".
Tuesday 9:00 AM: Start drinking Guinness at local spot. Bartender, cute as a button, chats me up until I tell her about how she has "hot child bearing hips". Oh that was classic.
Tuesday 11:00 AM; Guy in his mid 90's sits next to me at bar. Begins to tell me about every presidential election since 1886. I told him I didn't care, but since he was deaf, he kept talking anyway.
Tuesday 1:00 PM: Old guy collapses. He collapses in happiness after hitting a Royal Flush on a video slot machine. Fortunately he lives. Unfortunately for me, I had played that same machine 3 spins earlier.
Tuesday 3:00 PM: I get a chain letter in the mail. It says to send out 20 copies to 20 friends. I realize I don't have 20 friends and I don't have enough money for 20 stamps.
Tuesday 6:00 PM; I recieve a text from ANOTHER girl to hang out. When I say sure, and where would she like to go, she says anywhere that won't tempt her to do things like drink and fornicate.....I politely rescind my offer to hang out.
Tuesday 11:00 PM: Vagisil my teeth, turn my phone to vibrate, and cry. Today is going to be a BETTER day!!!
Sunday 12:10 AM: after a couple of Guinness, I decided to brush my teeth (in the dark). Don't know what was worse, brushing my teeth with Vagisil (don't ask) or deciding the fresh taste afterwards was more enjoyable that Aqua Fresh.
Sunday 3:00 AM: In a middle of a deep slumber, my alarm goes off. Meant to set it for 6am. Wide awake, I take a jog to the local supermarket for some coffee. On my jog, I forget I am wearing my pajamas. Worse still, said pajamas fit loose. Even worse, I am commando under said pajamas EVEN WORSE, wallet, phone, and change in pocket is weighing down pajamas. Let's just say the only thing that didn't get me arrested for indecent exposure is the realtive emptiness of the store. I did hear one elderly woman (they are always up shopping at that hour in Vegas) snicker something about not knowing nuts and rasins were half off today.
Monday 11:00 AM : Call into a local sports radio show. Not only do they laugh at me, they play my phone call iin sound bites for the rest of the afternoon. Getting made fun of is one thing. Getting made fun of every hour by your own voice is humiliating.
Monday 2:00 PM: Mc Rib sandwich is sold out at my local McDonalds
Monday 2:15 PM : Mc Rib sandwich is sold out at my NOT local McDonalds
Monday 2:30 PM: Get kicked out of another McDonalds for punching a stuffed lifelike version of Ronald McDonald.
Monday 6:00 PM: Girl texts me to hang out. Of course I accept. Come to find out, she meant to text ANOTHER Chris.
Monday 7:00 PM: Someone forgets to tell the Sixers that you are allowed to score in the first half of a game.
Monday 9:00 PM: Someone forgets to tell the Sixers that one more basket is the difference between covering the OVER and the line.
Tuesday 12:00 AM: My BluRay copy of "Indepenis Day" does not come from Netflix as expected. they inadvertantly send me "Twilight in the Loafers".
Tuesday 9:00 AM: Start drinking Guinness at local spot. Bartender, cute as a button, chats me up until I tell her about how she has "hot child bearing hips". Oh that was classic.
Tuesday 11:00 AM; Guy in his mid 90's sits next to me at bar. Begins to tell me about every presidential election since 1886. I told him I didn't care, but since he was deaf, he kept talking anyway.
Tuesday 1:00 PM: Old guy collapses. He collapses in happiness after hitting a Royal Flush on a video slot machine. Fortunately he lives. Unfortunately for me, I had played that same machine 3 spins earlier.
Tuesday 3:00 PM: I get a chain letter in the mail. It says to send out 20 copies to 20 friends. I realize I don't have 20 friends and I don't have enough money for 20 stamps.
Tuesday 6:00 PM; I recieve a text from ANOTHER girl to hang out. When I say sure, and where would she like to go, she says anywhere that won't tempt her to do things like drink and fornicate.....I politely rescind my offer to hang out.
Tuesday 11:00 PM: Vagisil my teeth, turn my phone to vibrate, and cry. Today is going to be a BETTER day!!!
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