Bread
Current Corpse
- Since
- Jan 20, 2010
- Messages
- 28,141
- Score
- 43
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- 0
Limitless - New studly "it" guy Bradley Cooper gets hooked on some pill that activates all the unused portions of our brain. Movie had its moments. It was OK. I was entertained but certainly not in full Maximus type fashion.
Besides I think we already have a drug that does this. It's called LSD. Although for every cerebral door that acid opens up, it shuts down some very basic mental functions. Such as desperately trying to find your hotel for over two hours that is LITERALLY two blocks away. Twice.
Figuring out how to wipe sand off of your legs with a towel.
Figuring out that everyone in Tampa is not a paid actor and it would probably be dangerous to insult them to their face as much as you can in an attempt to get them to "break character."
The Rite - I'm not a fan of exorcism movies. I've never seen The Exorcist. But I did watch this one and I think I dozed off. Anthony Hopkins does get possessed and starts yelling about some girl's sweet titties though. That was pretty cool.
Predators - A really ugly monster goes on a rampage in some space jungle. But enough about Adrien Brody, let's talk about Larry Fishbourne in the 10 minute role of a lifetime. Actually that sucked too. Well the aliens are pretty cool, I guess
I Am Number Four - Twilight without the vampires and werewolves. I just enjoyed the fact that the two best looking kids in high school were social outcasts just like me and all the rest of my fellow uglies. Maybe it really IS what's on the inside that counts!
Lookit folks, if you want non-fiction go rent a fucking documentary.
Outcasts like me, HOORAY! Can we all hangout now? No? Oh my bad.
Centurion - Some cheese dick knock off of 300 that uses graphic gore as a crutch to put together a bunch of rubbish. Only a real idiot would rent this garbage. O hai!
Family Guy: Partial Terms of Endearment - A never-aired episode using abortion as the jokal point. 'Twas aight. Nothing particularly more racy than most of the other episodes so no clue why all the hubbub, bub.
Singles - On VHS, no less. That's right bitches.
Would you believe it, but the old film holds up. Matt Dillon is hilarious as the lead singer for Citizen Dick (my next tshirt purchase btw) and Bridget Fonda is simply adorable. The other love storyline involving Gen. Patton's son and Kyra Sedgwick's mouf is just interesting enough to keep me caring as well.
Is it just me or does anyone else think about Kevin Bacon's famous dick inside of Sedgwick's huge mouth everytime they see it?
Touch me I'm Dick
The Hours - Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman headline an amazing cast that also includes Ed Harris, John C. Reilly, Miranda Richardson and Toni Collette. The film was heavy, no doubt. Not earth-shattering or anything, but very well done.
As with so many films. the breakout star for me was the soundtrack. I've owned it for a few years and it can move me to unexpected emotions with each listen.
Idiocracy - A local funny radio show has been touting this movie as the spoken word of present and future states of the world. I figured I should check it out as well because, you know, I care.
Strike one: Luke Wilson is the main star. Oh brother.
Strike two: Dax Shepard is the comic relief. Good lord.
Strike three: A couple cheap laughs an epically eye-opening movie does not make. Get a clue dumb radio guys! Shucks!
Oh sweet fucking God nooooooo!!!!
Dead Presidents - Love love love this movie. Seen it countless times. Decided that I'm going to sport the bank robbery face paint for Halloween. Love the 70's Bronx scenes. Love the ridiculous Vietnam scenes. Freakin' jerkoff over the robbery scene. The soundtrack is top notch!
Even the opening credits track is pretty tight.
Yeah I said TIGHT. Fuck off.
Quick side story - March 2003 I took my first trip to New Orleans. Found myself at The Blues Bar. Bartender brings me a drink and asks if I recognize the guy sitting next to me. His head was turned away so I couldn't see. I asked her what the deal with him was.
She said that he had been telling people at the bar for over an hour that he was in movies, but nobody had seen the movies or recognized him. So I waited for him to turn around. And holy shit. It was Cleon from Dead Presidents! I was so excited.
But I wasn't half as excited as a pretty intoxicated Cleon was that somebody finally recognized him. Then when I told him that I even knew his real name (Bokeem Woodbine) and started busting out classic Cleon quotes ("Now you're good. Now Jesus loves you.") well we got along just fine.
We talked for a little while until he had to go. And then he left the bar and disappeared into the Bourbon Street madness.
God bless you, Cleon. You made a young man's vacation very special. I would've blown you had you asked.
Besides I think we already have a drug that does this. It's called LSD. Although for every cerebral door that acid opens up, it shuts down some very basic mental functions. Such as desperately trying to find your hotel for over two hours that is LITERALLY two blocks away. Twice.
Figuring out how to wipe sand off of your legs with a towel.
Figuring out that everyone in Tampa is not a paid actor and it would probably be dangerous to insult them to their face as much as you can in an attempt to get them to "break character."
The Rite - I'm not a fan of exorcism movies. I've never seen The Exorcist. But I did watch this one and I think I dozed off. Anthony Hopkins does get possessed and starts yelling about some girl's sweet titties though. That was pretty cool.
Predators - A really ugly monster goes on a rampage in some space jungle. But enough about Adrien Brody, let's talk about Larry Fishbourne in the 10 minute role of a lifetime. Actually that sucked too. Well the aliens are pretty cool, I guess
Sure, why not?
I Am Number Four - Twilight without the vampires and werewolves. I just enjoyed the fact that the two best looking kids in high school were social outcasts just like me and all the rest of my fellow uglies. Maybe it really IS what's on the inside that counts!
Lookit folks, if you want non-fiction go rent a fucking documentary.
Outcasts like me, HOORAY! Can we all hangout now? No? Oh my bad.
Centurion - Some cheese dick knock off of 300 that uses graphic gore as a crutch to put together a bunch of rubbish. Only a real idiot would rent this garbage. O hai!
I haz Sentureeyun moovy
Family Guy: Partial Terms of Endearment - A never-aired episode using abortion as the jokal point. 'Twas aight. Nothing particularly more racy than most of the other episodes so no clue why all the hubbub, bub.
Singles - On VHS, no less. That's right bitches.
Would you believe it, but the old film holds up. Matt Dillon is hilarious as the lead singer for Citizen Dick (my next tshirt purchase btw) and Bridget Fonda is simply adorable. The other love storyline involving Gen. Patton's son and Kyra Sedgwick's mouf is just interesting enough to keep me caring as well.
Is it just me or does anyone else think about Kevin Bacon's famous dick inside of Sedgwick's huge mouth everytime they see it?
Touch me I'm Dick
The Hours - Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman headline an amazing cast that also includes Ed Harris, John C. Reilly, Miranda Richardson and Toni Collette. The film was heavy, no doubt. Not earth-shattering or anything, but very well done.
As with so many films. the breakout star for me was the soundtrack. I've owned it for a few years and it can move me to unexpected emotions with each listen.
Idiocracy - A local funny radio show has been touting this movie as the spoken word of present and future states of the world. I figured I should check it out as well because, you know, I care.
Strike one: Luke Wilson is the main star. Oh brother.
Strike two: Dax Shepard is the comic relief. Good lord.
Strike three: A couple cheap laughs an epically eye-opening movie does not make. Get a clue dumb radio guys! Shucks!
Oh sweet fucking God nooooooo!!!!
Dead Presidents - Love love love this movie. Seen it countless times. Decided that I'm going to sport the bank robbery face paint for Halloween. Love the 70's Bronx scenes. Love the ridiculous Vietnam scenes. Freakin' jerkoff over the robbery scene. The soundtrack is top notch!
Even the opening credits track is pretty tight.
Yeah I said TIGHT. Fuck off.
Quick side story - March 2003 I took my first trip to New Orleans. Found myself at The Blues Bar. Bartender brings me a drink and asks if I recognize the guy sitting next to me. His head was turned away so I couldn't see. I asked her what the deal with him was.
She said that he had been telling people at the bar for over an hour that he was in movies, but nobody had seen the movies or recognized him. So I waited for him to turn around. And holy shit. It was Cleon from Dead Presidents! I was so excited.
But I wasn't half as excited as a pretty intoxicated Cleon was that somebody finally recognized him. Then when I told him that I even knew his real name (Bokeem Woodbine) and started busting out classic Cleon quotes ("Now you're good. Now Jesus loves you.") well we got along just fine.
We talked for a little while until he had to go. And then he left the bar and disappeared into the Bourbon Street madness.
God bless you, Cleon. You made a young man's vacation very special. I would've blown you had you asked.
