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List of acceptable additions to coffee

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I take that back. I stayed at the Imperial Palace once.

You are operating under the assumption that I want to live a long life.

But seriously, I know..I had quit the stuff, but I got stuck with a box of Starbucks French Roast K cups which I can't tolerate without being diluted in artificial ingredients.
 
I drink my coffee black. Will always be that way.

This one very professional guy at a place in state college we ordered from I'd ask "how do I want my coffee?" and we got him to say every time"black, like your bitches."

Was awesome EVERY TIME.