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Drinking stories

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bacon

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I just got reminded of a night I went out with a buddy went shot for shot couldn't get my keys to work on the door so I ripped the outside door off the house. I don't remember what happened at all and my roommate was like what in the fuck even happened, I told him I didn't know because I didn't. He wanted to know why I was taking a piss in his bathroom too and ignoring him and I didn't know the answer to that either. Looking back I'm thankful I was using the bathroom.
 
Reminds me of the time I threatened to shit from a tree.

I went to a Blue Jays game at old Exhibition Stadium - in my drinking/drugging days so plenny wasted - on the way out walking to the car I was suddenly inspired to climb a little tree. Once I got up there I loudly declared, "I'm going to shit from this tree!"

There were tons of people around and a bunch of them gathered beneath - which is pretty strange when you think of it - someone threatening to shit from a tree and all. Underneath is not where I would go.

"I'm going to shit from this tree!"

A calm very adult voice was heard, "Son, don't shit from that tree."

"Yes but I'm going to shit from it!"



That's actually the end of the story. I didn't shit from the tree. I came down from the tree and we went home.

Good laugh for my buddies anyway.
 
When I hear funny things like that, (or myself think of funny things,) I am always curious if something has been done/thought of before. Sure enough, googled "shit out of tree" or something to that effect, and there it is...numerous videos of people shitting out of trees.
I only looked at one...I was unable to ass certain whether or not he was drunk. But yeah, if you want to see people shitting out of trees...it's out there.
 
In high school, we used to like to ingest LSD and go on long road trips.... just drive; Usually the driver would not consume any alcohol so there would be no DWI charges involved.... Made it through many roadblocks in a Full on LSD haze... amazing we never had any difficulty... Was it all a big dream?
 
One story that comes to mind - which actually bothers me quite a bit - which is a bit weird given all the crap that happened when I drank - pun intended - but why this particular tale would be the one that stands out - and gives me pangs of guilt and an extreme feeling of, you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck - meaning me

I don't know.

For a time in my early twenties I shared a house with a couple other guys. It was pretty much of a party house and I was right in the prime of my addictive behaviors including drinking.

Okay whatever, here's the deal. Let's see if I can keep this short story short.

One of the guys was an excellent cook and sometimes he would whip up a batch of stew. He made it in a huge, gigantic pot and it had to sit on some heat and simmer for long periods of time, including overnights.

So one time I come home from drinking - late night - and I don't even remember this - but obviously a huge pot of amazingly delicious stew is simmering on the stove.

Fast-forward to the next morning. Bill, the nicest guy you could ever meet, sheepishly greets me whenever I get around to getting up. He looks weird and embarrassed and I know something has happened.

Bottom line: I ate every single piece of meat out of that stew. Nothing else - just the meat. And all of it.



:facepalm:
 
I was gonna post a story about tumbling down some stairs with a buddy in one pair of boxer shorts...well he had his own...but he got into mine while I had them on..not knowing that this broads mom had come home and we pretty much landed at her feet.


I was gonna tell that story...but that meat eating story...oh man...I'd hate to have to go behind that one you crazy fkn bastard.
 
once in college after my roomates and I got drunk

my one roomate went to make some ramen noodles

get this: while the bowl was in the microwave...... I TOOK THE FLAVORING PACKET AND OPENED IT UP INTO THE GARBAGE!


crazy times
 
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