1. THE NORMCORE DUDE is already over Normcore.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN just heard about it.
2. THE NORMCORE DUDE combs thriftshops for cool fleece vests and old Adidas sneakers.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN needs to walk the dog and can't figure out what his wife did with his cool fleece vests and old Adidas sneakers.
3. THE NORMCORE DUDE thinks wearing a white T-shirt and jeans is about "letting go of the need to look distinctive, to make time for something new."
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN knows he looks like shit. But he's saving to pay for the college education of some kid who will someday use his Brown degree to blog about anti-fashion for a job with an annual salary that's less than tuition at a state school.
4. THE NORMCORE DUDE crashes on someone's couch most nights.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN bought the couch and carried it up seven flights of stairs for his NYU student daughter.
5. THE NORMCORE DUDE has a blog, a Tumblr, and is on Tindr.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN has gout, hemorrhoids, and is on high-cholesterol meds.
6. THE NORMCORE DUDE is thinking about going vegan.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN is thinking about leaving his wife for the burger (and the waitress) at Five Guys.
7. THE NORMCORE DUDE once had a job at an art gallery hanging paintings.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN occasionally wants to hang himself.
8. THE NORMCORE DUDE rides a bike to the co-op to volunteer.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN drives a shitty car to the train station then takes a five hour train to his middle management job so that he can put money away for his kids (who suddenly keep raiding his closet).
9. THE NORMCORE DUDE misses college.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN misses sex, his hair, and seeing his feet when he's standing up.
10. THE NORMCORE DUDE needs to call his dad.
THE NORMAL CORPSMAN is his dad, and forgives him.
