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Going Into the Light

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Robyn
I hate going to bed when I'm not tired and could stay up until 3AM every night if I could. I am not and have never been a morning person. I've tried Ambien, which was horrible. When I stopped taking it, I had a headache for 2 days. Benadryl works but I have to have 10-12 hours of sleep. Reading or watching TV are the only two things that seem to put me to sleep.
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I am 100% exactly the same way

I have done a lot of research on the subject, mainly because it has ruined my life

I will write more soon when I have time and am not tired
 
Jello
Have one for me big guy.

Maybe it is some side effect of detox from everything. I've never been a problem drinker, though. I really only would drink maybe 5 or 6 nights a month. I did smoke cigarettes and weed practically every day for pretty much the past 15 years.

I didn't quit any of it because I enjoyed them too much. It was exactly the opposite, for everything. I realized I don't enjoy it. Any of it. Kind of weird, I know, but I decided it was time to start living the way my body and mind have been wanting me to live my whole life. I've never enjoyed drugs, believe it or not. Did a shit ton of them, but always for the wrong reasons.

That being said, I don't begrudge anyone the pleasure of substances. I wish I could enjoy them with you, but I'm happier without them. I hope we can still hang out with me being sober and not have it be any kind of downer for you guys. That's the thing that's worried me most about my transformation - making my friends uncomfortable. I still am very "pro drug", so to speak. I make no judgments in that regard at all.
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I'm pretty sure for me alot of this is chemical/hormone stuff. I know that if I go to bed earlier and don't watch tv or stare at a computer screen for hours on end, it's better than normal.

It's a irritatingly fine balance for me on this front because I'm already responsible in the workout/drinking/drugs/eating front, then to add internet/tv usage to things that I've curtailed makes me feel like I have no refuge. At this point all I can say is that I *want* to want to really figure this out. But I don't. I want it to magically be fixed. It makes me a little pissy because sleeping and waking up shouldn't be something that you have to work at.

My sister and I were both really premature babies. Our birth weights were around 2 lbs in the early 70's. She has serious health problems. She also doesn't take care of herself at all. I'm pretty vigilant about self care and think some sleep problems and other boring health stuff is related to the being born about three months early. That and maybe some genetics. Who knows, it's complex and all you can do is the best you can.

And since I used the word refuge, I'll tell you a funny story.

Sometimes I talk in my sleep. It doesn't happen often, but when it does usually hilarity ensues. The thing is, I usually say one thing and repeat it in different inflections.

Mrs. X (sitting straight up in bed, yells): FISH REFUGE!
Mr. X (sits up also): Wha? Did you just say fish refuge?
Mrs. X: fish. refuge.
Mr. X: Okaaaayyy.....what about the fish refuge?
Mrs X (sighs heavily like Mr. X is a dummy): fish refuge
Mr. X: Mrs. X, are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (Silent for fifteen seconds while still sitting up)
Mr. X: Mrs. X? Are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (now awake and sheepish) yes.

There was another time when we were living in an RV I sat upright in the middle of the night and said, "There's a cat in the bed". From previously experiences Mr. X woke up and said, is a disbelieving and smiling voice, "Really, There's a cat in the bed". I responded, "yes, really, there's a strange cat in the bed", and pointed to a cat.

We opened a window and eventually it left.
 
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Mrs. X
Mrs. X (sitting straight up in bed, yells): FISH REFUGE!
Mr. X (sits up also): Wha? Did you just say fish refuge?
Mrs. X: fish. refuge.
Mr. X: Okaaaayyy.....what about the fish refuge?
Mrs X (sighs heavily like Mr. X is a dummy): fish refuge
Mr. X: Mrs. X, are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (Silent for fifteen seconds while still sitting up)
Mr. X: Mrs. X? Are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (now awake and sheepish) yes.
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:lmao:

Mrs. X
There was another time when we were living in an RV I sat upright in the middle of the night and said, "There's a cat in the bed". From previously experiences Mr. X woke up and said, is a disbelieving and smiling voice, "Really, There's a cat in the bed". I responded, "yes, really, there's a strange cat in the bed", and pointed to a cat.

We opened a window and eventually it left.
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:clueless:
 
Mrs. X
Mrs. X (sitting straight up in bed, yells): FISH REFUGE!
Mr. X (sits up also): Wha? Did you just say fish refuge?
Mrs. X: fish. refuge.
Mr. X: Okaaaayyy.....what about the fish refuge?
Mrs X (sighs heavily like Mr. X is a dummy): fish refuge
Mr. X: Mrs. X, are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (Silent for fifteen seconds while still sitting up)
Mr. X: Mrs. X? Are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (now awake and sheepish) yes.
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Hehehe. I grew up with two step-sisters, one of which went through that same routine every once in a while. They shared the same room so the other sister was able to report the best stream-of-unconsciousness bits... the only example I can recall right now is her repeating that she really didn't approve of football gloves. :wah:
 
Dunder
I am sure it does, Mrs. X. Did Mr. X compliment you on it?
I would wager that he did not (unless you asked him whether your hair looked good today):
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I try not bug him when he's programming. When he's in this state of mind he might not even notice if the house was burning. All I can do is bring home taco bell and soy chais to keep him nourished.

He should be back on this planet in about a week.
 
Matt Rain
Hehehe. I grew up with two step-sisters, one of which went through that same routine every once in a while. They shared the same room so the other sister was able to report the best stream-of-unconsciousness bits... the only example I can recall right now is her repeating that she really didn't approve of football gloves. :wah:
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matty are your sisters hot?
 
Mrs. X
Mrs. X (sitting straight up in bed, yells): FISH REFUGE!
Mr. X (sits up also): Wha? Did you just say fish refuge?
Mrs. X: fish. refuge.
Mr. X: Okaaaayyy.....what about the fish refuge?
Mrs X (sighs heavily like Mr. X is a dummy): fish refuge
Mr. X: Mrs. X, are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (Silent for fifteen seconds while still sitting up)
Mr. X: Mrs. X? Are you sleeping?
Mrs. X: (now awake and sheepish) yes.
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That was pretty good. This may have been better:

Mrs.X (thrashing about): I'm afraid there's bugs.
Me: What, bugs?
Mrs.X: I... I'm afraid of what the bedroom is doing to the bedroom.
Me: I think your sleeping.
Mrs.X (angry): No, I'm trying to explain.
Me: You're afraid of the bedroom?
Mrs.X: (very angry): I'm trying to tell you.
Long pause.
Longer pause....
Mrs.X: I may have been sleeping.
 
And that cat story, Oh man.

I mean, this sleep talking thing happens fairly often, so when Mrs.X says "I think there's a strange cat in the bed" in the middle of the night, and you have no cat, and you're sleeping in an RV, you really don't consider the fact that there might actually be a cat in the bed.

So, when you open your eyes, preparing yourself mentally to make fun of Mrs.X, only to see that damn cat, it really throws you for a loop. My initial thought was something like "holy crap, I'm in Mrs.X's head!"
 
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