Matty
Calorie Smart Human
- Since
- Jan 26, 2010
- Messages
- 53,298
- Score
- 8,426
- Tokens
- 50
Or, as Mark Twain put it...
"You visit Heaven for the climate
You visit Hell for the company".
Very nice.

Or, as Mark Twain put it...
"You visit Heaven for the climate
You visit Hell for the company".
The only animal I ever killed was a woodpecker. I still feel bad to this day when I hear or read the word, and it happens quite often - doesn't help that a local cult band wrote a song about le pic-bois.
Twin brother, a buddy and I were playing around with an assortment of BB guns at my Mom's shack in the woods. A woodpecker had been hammering away for a couple hours and we were trying to locate him. After a while, my brother points towards a telephone pole - it was far, at least 200 yards away, and we could only make out the bird's dark silhouette from there. We started shooting with no hope or intention to hit the bird... we all knew it was a one-in-a-million shot from that distance, and we were only looking for an excuse, any excuse to shoot at something. The three of us shot maybe 20 pellets at the bird before we gave up. We started walking back towards the shack when my brother took another shot with his .357 Magnum replica, which was by far the least accurate of the guns we had. About 2 seconds after the shot, we see the bird fall off the pole, drawing big loops in the air with its wings fully extended. Oh no. We ran towards the telephone pole to check on the bird and we found it breathing hard, its wings still extended, a small pool of blood near its belly. We were mortified - not only did we not intend to kill it, but it also happened to be the most beautiful bird we'd ever seen.
I finished off the bird with the .357 that my brother didn't wanna hold on to anymore and we all walked back to the shack feeling nauseous.
That's the day I found out I was gay.
The end.
I play hockey Left, yet I bat and golf Right.
Yeah, that seems to be the most common combination. I can't get anyone to explain how it makes sense to play hockey one way and golf the other, but I guess they're different enough postures to warrant a different stance. I dunno, totally makes sense for me to do both right-handed.
Left is the proper way to hold the hockey stick. It has nothing to do with being left-handed.
Left is the proper way to hold the hockey stick. It has nothing to do with being left-handed.
That makes no sense to me at all.
Twin brother, a buddy and I were playing around with an assortment of BB guns at my Mom's shack in the woods. A woodpecker had been hammering away for a couple hours and we were trying to locate him. After a while, my brother points towards a telephone pole - it was far, at least 200 yards away, and we could only make out the bird's dark silhouette from there. We started shooting with no hope or intention to hit the bird... we all knew it was a one-in-a-million shot from that distance, and we were only looking for an excuse, any excuse to shoot at something. The three of us shot maybe 20 pellets at the bird before we gave up. We started walking back towards the shack when my brother took another shot with his .357 Magnum replica, which was by far the least accurate of the guns we had. About 2 seconds after the shot, we see the bird fall off the pole, drawing big loops in the air with its wings fully extended. Oh no. We ran towards the telephone pole to check on the bird and we found it breathing hard, its wings still extended, a small pool of blood near its belly. We were mortified - not only did we not intend to kill it, but it also happened to be the most beautiful bird we'd ever seen.
I finished off the bird with the .357 that my brother didn't wanna hold on to anymore and we all walked back to the shack feeling nauseous.
I'm telling you, it's just a bit much.
That's the day I found out I was gay.
I'm pretty sure you're bisexual at this point, buddy. Rock on!
The only animal I ever killed was a woodpecker. I still feel bad to this day when I hear or read the word, and it happens quite often - doesn't help that a local cult band wrote a song about le pic-bois.
Twin brother, a buddy and I were playing around with an assortment of BB guns at my Mom's shack in the woods. A woodpecker had been hammering away for a couple hours and we were trying to locate him. After a while, my brother points towards a telephone pole - it was far, at least 200 yards away, and we could only make out the bird's dark silhouette from there. We started shooting with no hope or intention to hit the bird... we all knew it was a one-in-a-million shot from that distance, and we were only looking for an excuse, any excuse to shoot at something. The three of us shot maybe 20 pellets at the bird before we gave up. We started walking back towards the shack when my brother took another shot with his .357 Magnum replica, which was by far the least accurate of the guns we had. About 2 seconds after the shot, we see the bird fall off the pole, drawing big loops in the air with its wings fully extended. Oh no. We ran towards the telephone pole to check on the bird and we found it breathing hard, its wings still extended, a small pool of blood near its belly. We were mortified - not only did we not intend to kill it, but it also happened to be the most beautiful bird we'd ever seen.
I finished off the bird with the .357 that my brother didn't wanna hold on to anymore and we all walked back to the shack feeling nauseous.
That's the day I found out I was gay.
The end.
This story is very sad. The only creatures I do not care for are reptiles and insects. It makes me sad that people kill animals for fun (not that it was your intention).
Robyn, some kids do a lot of stupid things when they are 11. I love animals these days.![]()
And what's the deal with left-handed people? Don't you find the whole left-handed thing to be a bit much? Like, just cool it with that stuff.
I am not a serial killer, yet.Or else you will become a serial killer like Betplom.
Had to turn it off at the 0:20 mark. Too much 80's keyboard - I just can't do it.
My thoughts about left-handed people exactly.