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Updating a bit of life drama

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Mudcat

Mudcat

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that I have talked to some people here about. My last full-time girlfriend - who was a recovering alcoholic (like me) - who relapsed (unlike me) and I had to part company with for that reason - is back from the dead.

Come to think of it, that is more literal than I meant it when I typed it but she did manage to almost kill herself. Her appendix burst - which she didn't see coming due to being self-anaesthetized with booze. By the time she was discovered and got to the hospital it was thought she was touch-and-go to live or die. But she did live.

Anyway there is a long story with many details but the bottom line is she got sober through the long hospitalization and is staying sober. And we have had a few long talks in the last week. I am very happy about it. I don't know that she will be my girlfriend again but I am just happy because addicts are a big part of my life and sometimes they (we) can be very heartbreaking and it is good to see one back from the dead.
 
good update, I do remember your post about this heart wrenching situation. Glad to hear that she is on the road of sobriety again.

I know people somtimes take shots at your past, which might be some of the lowest of blows i've seen on the forums........ but its amazing and admirable how long you've fought the minute to minute/day to day battle staying clean.....


keep it up bro, and good luck to your friend
 
Glad to hear.. Regardless of the demons that someone may be harboring and battling you always want those that you love to be as healthy and stay that way for as long as possible. I hope she sticks to sobriety this time and you guys are able to spend some time together in whatever sense works best for both your diseases and your hearts.
 
Muddy....I reflect what these guys say...I enjoy your openness when it comes to your problems. And I truly hope you stay the course. Sometimes I feel bad flaunting my irresponsible behavior concerning drinking and occasional extra-curricular activities in front of you...but to me you seem to have it pretty much together... plus I gotta be me.

As for getting closer to your ex. What would Dr. Drew say??

dr_drew_interview.jpg
 
Don't feel bad about flaunting anything around me. I don't care. I have been clean and sober for quite awhile and am well past the point of constant danger.

I do the things necessary to keep on top of the situation. I have a weekly recovery group I more-or-less lead (which is where I first met chicky-poo years ago) and I do regular public speaking and whatnot. I am not fragile about this stuff.

Sometimes I feel bad about talking on the forums about being an addict and how it can ruin lives when some people are just trying to have fun. Some people, unlike me, can handle it without it taking over their lives in such an excessively negative way. But I keep blabbing anyway. I actually have, over the years, had a couple people from forums quietly approach me because they were just reaching the point of questioning their own behavior and they saw me as a safe place to request info and support. It is priceless when that happens.

That's not the reason I blab. I blab because I gotta be me. But it certainly makes life feel more meaningful when stuff like that happens.
 
Mudcat, I don't know you well, but I just had to come in and say "Well done"...for what it's worth. I've seen all kinds of addiction rip people's lives apart in different ways. In fact, I had to dis-invite my own brother from Christmas dinner for fear of what he would do or say (how it came to that is a LONG story). I'm also recently engaged and my family keeps asking if he'll be invited to the wedding. If invites were going out today, the answer would be "HELL NO". I'm holding onto a flicker of hope that he'll make some major changes in his life before April 2011, but with his wife doing nothing but making excuses for him and denying how bad his problem really is, it doesn't look promising. Every time we see him hit a rock bottom, we hope that's the last one, but he's a pro at making everything someone else's fault...at least in his own mind.

Anywho, I'm rambling. My point is: Never feel bad about talking about this stuff. If you have reached just ONE person and made them realize that they have a problem and may need some help, you have saved a life...a family....and, in the grand scheme of things, made up for the pain you caused when you were out of control. Keep up the good work. A lot of recovering addicts can barely take care of them selves and here you are doing your damndest to help others. I can't even tell you how much respect I have for that.:hattip:
 
Swedie
Mudcat, I don't know you well, but I just had to come in and say "Well done"...for what it's worth. I've seen all kinds of addiction rip people's lives apart in different ways. In fact, I had to dis-invite my own brother from Christmas dinner for fear of what he would do or say (how it came to that is a LONG story). I'm also recently engaged and my family keeps asking if he'll be invited to the wedding. If invites were going out today, the answer would be "HELL NO". I'm holding onto a flicker of hope that he'll make some major changes in his life before April 2011, but with his wife doing nothing but making excuses for him and denying how bad his problem really is, it doesn't look promising. Every time we see him hit a rock bottom, we hope that's the last one, but he's a pro at making everything someone else's fault...at least in his own mind.

Anywho, I'm rambling. My point is: Never feel bad about talking about this stuff. If you have reached just ONE person and made them realize that they have a problem and may need some help, you have saved a life...a family....and, in the grand scheme of things, made up for the pain you caused when you were out of control. Keep up the good work. A lot of recovering addicts can barely take care of them selves and here you are doing your damndest to help others. I can't even tell you how much respect I have for that.:hattip:
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Love what she said but my heart broke a little when I read this.
 
Bread
Check out Muddy....mackin on the honeys that come into support group.

I've never felt prouder of someone than I do right now.
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HAHA! As I was typing I was wondering if anyone would take it in that direction. It is an astute point. Long-timers should definitely not be hitting on newbies.

So I hasten to add that she was many years sober when she came to the group. The relapses came later.

So my ethics are intact. Well except that she was married. No, I kid.
 
Swedie
Mudcat, I don't know you well, but I just had to come in and say "Well done"...for what it's worth. I've seen all kinds of addiction rip people's lives apart in different ways. In fact, I had to dis-invite my own brother from Christmas dinner for fear of what he would do or say (how it came to that is a LONG story). I'm also recently engaged and my family keeps asking if he'll be invited to the wedding. If invites were going out today, the answer would be "HELL NO". I'm holding onto a flicker of hope that he'll make some major changes in his life before April 2011, but with his wife doing nothing but making excuses for him and denying how bad his problem really is, it doesn't look promising. Every time we see him hit a rock bottom, we hope that's the last one, but he's a pro at making everything someone else's fault...at least in his own mind.

Anywho, I'm rambling. My point is: Never feel bad about talking about this stuff. If you have reached just ONE person and made them realize that they have a problem and may need some help, you have saved a life...a family....and, in the grand scheme of things, made up for the pain you caused when you were out of control. Keep up the good work. A lot of recovering addicts can barely take care of them selves and here you are doing your damndest to help others. I can't even tell you how much respect I have for that.:hattip:
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Thanks very much. I can empathize with your situation regarding your brother. Completely, completely. I know him; I know his wife. I understand why you have to cut him out.

It sucks but there is hope. I have seen it.
 
Mudcat
Thanks very much. I can empathize with your situation regarding your brother. Completely, completely. I know him; I know his wife. I understand why you have to cut him out.

It sucks but there is hope. I have seen it.
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Thank you! It actually means a lot for someone who has been through it to understand why I just can't have him in my life anymore. Maybe one of these days I'll PM you the whole story...if you don't mind. I'd love some outside input. My Dad is trying to help him. He's been sober over 20 years...but my Dad tends to be a little soft on him.
 
fiveteamer
Where you an alcoholic before you did full time gambling?
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Yes. I was, for all intents and purposes, an addict from the first drink/puff/pill at the age of around 13. There was no period of building up and then crossing an imaginary line like many people experience. I was off to the races from the start and was only ever limited by my finances and the fact that I had to be in school/jobs some of the time.

I have no compulsive feelings about gambling and I have no idea why. In fact I would call my level of discipline damn near perfect. I don't place bets without a compelling reason.

Just one of those things.

It is very common for alcoholics/drug addicts to be at high risk for gambling addiction.

I am very wary of discussing what I do for a living at recovery meetings because I don't want people who have maybe had some gambling problems along with their drinking/drugging to look at me and say, "Oh! I don't need to stop gambling. I just need to try harder!"
 
Hey,

I never heard the whole story or situation but from the general recap of what I have read I am going to just say you are very brave. I come from a family of addict and saw my 2 sisters fall extremely hard into crystal meth and one of them who is 34 has 3 DUI's so she also had a drinking problem. The hardest thing is to see people throw their lives away and not be able to quit but something that is equally as hard is standing next to them on the road to recovery which can be long and bumpy. The single bravest thing that I respect all people like yourself for is admitting a problem exists and a desire to change. Stay strong muddy and I hope that things work out for your friend. Remember the road to recovery is not something you can complete in a day/week/month even year.. it is an ongoing process that you go through on a daily basis.

Keep the updates coming people fighting against addiction/health/personal problems is always inspiring to a lot of people.
 
Swedie
Thank you! It actually means a lot for someone who has been through it to understand why I just can't have him in my life anymore. Maybe one of these days I'll PM you the whole story...if you don't mind. I'd love some outside input. My Dad is trying to help him. He's been sober over 20 years...but my Dad tends to be a little soft on him.
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I understand completely. I hope you aren't beating yourself up over it too much.

I would be glad to "listen" and try to help. I don't know if we are going to get PM's here.

I am so used to SBR that I am leery to post an e-mail address. Will I be swooped down upon by the insecurity police?

[email protected]

Use it any time if you wish. Or maybe we will be getting PM's here.
 
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